


The Soulmate Sam Never Asked For

by thorkified



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And Being Soulmates, And It's Funny Sometimes, Big Brother Lucifer, Domestic Violence, Drama & Romance, Dysfunctional Family, Fits Too, Hate to Love, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, In a way, M/M, References Minor Character Death, Soulmates Hating Each Other, Surgery, but you'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-20 16:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14265477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkified/pseuds/thorkified
Summary: Sam absolutely hates the idea of soulmates and when he meets his own he stubbornly refuses to accept what fate has in store for him. Lucifer, his supposed soulmate, actually scares him to no end and he cannot imagine ever feeling any different, no matter what. The more time passes, however, the more he finds himself involved in his soulmate's life against his will. Soon, he's faced with the truth about the rude and cold punk's actual self and has to decide if he turns his back at his soulmate or does what feels right for him, despite the possible consequences.





	1. Not Expected At All

**Author's Note:**

> This is an unfamiliar story for me, as it's more comedic drama than actual angst, so bear with me. I'm trying something new here because I loved this idea of soulmates hating each other too much to resist ^^

Soulmates are bullshit, that was always Sam’s motto. Who wanted to spend the rest of their life with someone just because fate decided they had to be together? Worked out great for his parents in the end, with his mom dead and his dad  becoming an alcoholic. He had decided a long time ago that he didn’t want his soulmate, no matter who it would turn out to be. It wasn’t as if he wouldn’t have enough problems without a relationship already anyways.

Sam was in college for a year now and things were stressful, to put it mildly. The last year had gone by faster than he thought was possible and even his summer holidays seemed to be over in a heartbeat. Now that his brother had volunteered to take him back to campus - a week earlier than necessary because Sam had insisted on it - he felt like he could use two more months to calm down completely.

“Relax, Sammy,” Dean grinned and tapped on the steering wheel with his fingers in sync with the music. “You’re going back to what you enjoy the most, studying your ass off, isn’t that something good?”

“Yeah, easy for you to say,” Sam huffed and crossed his arms. “You weren’t the one who had to listen to dad’s monologue on how I’m wasting his money on becoming a vampire to society.”

“He hates lawyers, you know that.” Dean rolled his eyes. “You’ll see, once you get your diploma he’ll change his mind.”

“If he still has some brain cells left to think by then.”

Dean glared over at his younger brother for a moment, angry and almost judging, but Sam met his glare with the same look, and in  the end, they both broke out in laughter that filled the whole car, even drowning ACDC with it.

“You’re not wrong, sadly,” Dean eventually sighed and turned on the blinker to switch lanes. “It’s getting  worse  with him lately. While you were there he was actually nice, I’m glad I can move out soon so I don’t have to live with how he’s gonna be again once you’re gone.”

“So you’ll take the room?” Sam raised a brow. “I thought you wanted to keep looking to get into a house with only girls.”

“Well, I had to change my plans.” Dean shrugged with a smirk. “The guys are pretty cool, two brothers actually, and they don’t care for what I do as long as I pay the rent.”

“Sounds like heaven,” Sam groaned. “My pothead roommate luckily dropped out, so I won’t have to deal with him anymore. Thank God!”

“As long as it doesn’t get worse with the next one,” Dean pointed out, and Sam literally shuddered at the thought.

“I’m gonna drop out too if the next one is worse, trust me.”

Sam had no desire for a new roommate and as far as he knew no one was scheduled to live with him yet, but unfortunately that could change any day. He hoped to be able to use the first week to plan out his classes and everything in peace; a new roommate wasn’t at all what he wanted.

“You think Dad will manage?” Sam asked instead of continuing the topic, to which Dean shrugged.

“Probably,” he answered. “Either that or we’ll get a call one night that he wrapped his car around a tree. We can’t change it, Sammy, you know that. He just doesn’t care anymore.”

“Yeah,” Sam sighed and looked out the window. “He never recovered from her death, am I right?”

“Happens when you lose your soulmate,” Dean just said, but it didn’t make anything better. For  Sam,  it only made things worse.

There it was again: soulmates. Did the robber that broke into their house care about soulmates when he stabbed their mom twenty-two times before letting her die on the kitchen floor? Did the police care about soulmates when they interrogated their dad for hours and hours because they suspected him to have killed her? Did their dad’s boss care for soulmates when he fired him because he had to take care of two little boys all by himself and was completely overwhelmed? Of course not. No one gave a shit about soulmates if it wasn’t about their own. Sam hated it so much.

“I hope my soulmate died already,” Sam huffed, meaning every word. “I don’t care for this crap, look what it got us into.”

“You’re just bitter, that’s all. Once it happens you’ll forget this nonsense.”

“You’ll see,” Sam scoffed, dead serious. “I won’t let this bullshit dictate my life.”

Maybe he was bitter, so what? Sam had seen how much suffering and pain soulmates brought upon families and people, and he didn’t want to be a part of it.

The rest of their drive was mostly silent, but when Dean dropped Sam off at Stanford they hugged and Sam promised to be home for Thanksgiving, even though they both knew he probably wouldn’t be. Thanksgiving was always an awful time in their house, they both didn’t want to be there at that time. Maybe they’d see each other on Christmas, that was possible.

During the first week, Sam managed to calm down from his awful holidays slowly. He finished organizing his schedule and by the time the first other students came to campus at the end of the week, he was actually looking forward to his classes starting. Dean called him once to tell him he moved in with the boys, as he called them, and gave him his new address, but other than that nothing really important happened. 

His second year officially started and Sam walked into his first class - that’s when things started to change. Sam suddenly began feeling very weird when the doors closed and their professor began speaking. He barely heard his first words because he was too confused by the strange tingling in his body and actually looked around the room to see if he could find the reason for this unusual sensation. At first, he didn’t even think about soulmates, he feared he was just getting nervous or sick when all other students looked at the professor - apart from one here and there that simply showed no interest at all.

Sam shook his head slowly and tried to concentrate, but it remained a difficult task as if something inside of him constantly wanted to look elsewhere. He barely managed to take any notes properly and cursed himself for screwing up his first lecture like that already when it was over. When he walked over to the next one, he truly hoped this annoyingly distracting feeling would go away. Much to his relief, he actually felt much better during his next lecture. Whatever had happened, Sam tried to convince himself that it was just random anxiety flaring up. The rest of the day went by rather smoothly, which helped him in believing his very weak excuse.

There was only one tiny problem that burst Sam’s happy little bubble the next day. While sitting in a different course, he began feeling the same tingling and lack of concentration again, this time much more intense, however. It got so annoying that Sam spent almost the entirety of the time looking at other students and searching for familiar faces in the crowd. By now he did fear that his body’s weird reaction was due to what he hated so much and it didn’t help at all. There were a lot of people he had seen in his first course already sadly, too many to narrow it down to one or two, and they all looked rather disinterested, unlike Sam.

Sam tried his best to ignore this feeling whenever it came back for the rest of the week, but it was nearly impossible. By Friday night, he was so exhausted that he couldn’t even eat before dropping onto his bed and falling asleep. It was draining to constantly ignore his body’s needs and go against his instincts.

When he woke up on Saturday, around noon, which never happened before, Sam decided to call Dean to find out if he knew what the hell was going on. Sadly, his brother knew exactly what he was talking about.

“You really have no idea, do you?” Dean asked, almost laughing at the other end of the line. Sam was not happy about this reaction.

“I have one and I don’t like it,” he huffed and plopped down on the floor. “Tell me I’m going insane or have Malaria or whatever, just not this!”

“Sorry, little brother, but it’s true. That’s your body’s reaction when your soulmate is near you.”

“Oh, come on!” Sam protested and threw his hands up. “Not here! Not now, goddammit! I’ve got lectures to attend, I don’t have time for this shit!”

“You can either live with it or try to find out who’s causing it,” Dean suggested, obviously still grinning like the idiot he was. “It’s your choice.”

“And how do I find out who they are?” Sam asked annoyed. “There are dozens of students and none of them looked like they had the same thing happening to them!”

“Then they hide it pretty well, that’s funny.”

“I’m not laughing, Dean! I called you to help me, not make it worse!”

“Okay, okay,” Dean laughed again. “Allow your brother some fun, geez. You can try to narrow it down if you’re patient, might work.”

“And how do I do that?” Sam was out of ideas and completely pissed off about this.

“Be in class first and watch who comes in. If you start feeling like that again, bingo! You got your soulmate.”

“Seriously, that’s your big advice?”

“A bullet to the head should get rid of it too but I doubt that’s very helpful.”

Sam groaned and slapped a hand against his forehead. As much as he hated to admit it, Dean’s idea wasn’t the worst. Searching for his soulmate his own way had not worked and he had no energy to walk around campus to maybe spot them somewhere. It was worth a try at least.

“I swear if it’s that ugly guy with the dreadlocks and piercings all over I’m gonna throw up and kill myself…” Sam eventually sighed, to which Dean laughed again.

“Who knows, maybe it’s a hot chick with big arguments? You won’t know if you don’t try to find out, right?”

“I’m gonna kill you one day, I hope you know that.”

“Of course, bitch. Tell me when you start dating the dreadlock guy, alright?”

“In your dreams, jerk,” Sam huffed and hung up, but he couldn’t hold back a smile at Dean’s last comment. The idea was laughable, but he still didn’t know who it was, so it might not be too far away from the truth.

Sam debated his new plan over the weekend - luckily he didn’t experience any weird distraction or sensation over those days - and came to the conclusion that it was the best idea he had. There was no downpouring rain when someone met their soulmate or bells ringing or anything like that, so there really was little else to do and find out. When Monday came and his first lecture was ahead, Sam walked into class thirty minutes early just to be completely sure.

At first, nothing happened. Several groups of girls walked in, giggling and laughing, but he felt no different than before. In fact, he didn’t feel anything at all for the whole thirty minutes and already cursed Dean in his mind for this stupid idea when the professor started talking, but then it suddenly happened and he basically spun around in his seat, eyes wide and heart beating mercilessly in his chest. He would have even been happy about the dreadlock guy when he realized who he was looking at right now.

“Mister Milton,” the professor said strict and very annoyed, to which Sam’s heart dropped in his chest. “I won’t tolerate being late to my lectures, this is your one and only warning.”

Sam wanted to hide in his seat when he saw the death glare the blond gave their professor, but all he could do was stare. The guy was definitely older than him, a few years probably, and looked like he jumped straight out of a punk band from twenty years ago. His blond hair stood up in spikes and his clothes were torn and ripped and had spikes everywhere possible. Even his face was creepy, kind of, with this slightly disgusted expression and the pierced lip and ears - Sam only saw one but he was sure both were covered in holes. 

“No reason to wet your pants, go take a Valium or something...” the blond said with a low and grumpy voice that sent shivers down Sam’s spine and began walking towards an empty seat in the back row, maybe twenty feet away from the other.

“You can drop this attitude right here and now, Mister Milton,” the professor scolded the student again when he sat down and promptly put his feet down on his desk. “All it will get you is a trip to the headmaster. And now I would like to continue, since everyone arrived finally.”

“You can drop dead for all I care,” Sam heard his supposed soulmate mumble and his jaw nearly dropped at that.

As fast as he could, Sam turned around again, just so he didn’t have to look at this guy anymore. This couldn’t be, this had to be a joke! His soulmate couldn’t possibly be this rude punk that looked like he was in his mid-twenties already and that apparently thought he owned the world?! Sam covered his face in his hands and stopped paying attention to the professor altogether, just cursing himself for even listening to his stupid brother and his idiotic ideas. 

During the whole class, Sam couldn’t bring himself to listen to his professor more than half-way, even though he tried his best to focus. He felt nauseous and nervous all the time and it just wouldn’t go away.  At one point it was so bad that he couldn’t stop himself from looking up, of course promptly meeting a very suspicious looking pair of blue eyes. He blushed heavily and immediately turned back around, a cold stone in his stomach and his hands sweating like crazy. Dammit, he should have expected that. The guy was the reason he felt like this and it got even worse when he looked at him. Sam was sure he’d die within another week.


	2. The Worst Soulmate Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's impossible to deny anymore that Lucifer is his soulmate. Sam tries to handle the situation the rational way, without allowing his emotions to control him, but Lucifer isn't helping at all with the way he reacts and Sam doesn't know if he should laugh or scream about the impossible situation he found himself in.

Sam tried really hard to not look at the blond guy or give him any form of attention over the next few days, but it felt like torture every single time they were in the same room together. The more he ignored him, the more his body seemed to protest and fight against his decision. After a few days of this, Sam didn’t know if he could take it anymore. Not even hanging out and talking to the few friends he had on campus provided any form of distraction - this pestering turmoil inside of him flared up regularly, even when the blond was far away. It only got worse and Sam didn’t know what to do anymore.

During the next weekend, Sam laid awake at night and wondered how this horrible guy could be his soulmate and why he had to be punished like that. Hell, from what he had seen so far he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d turn on the news one day and see him presented as a serial killer or something like that! This guy was a creep, how could this be possible? And still, all signs were there and it got more obvious every day. At this rate he would probably explode by Wednesday next week and he began to hope for it in a way.

“You need to talk to him,” Dean said when Sam called him Sunday night, completely drained, exhausted and helpless. “It won’t get better like this, trust me.”

“I can’t talk to him!” Sam protested, banging his head against the wall behind him. “He’ll probably rip me to shreds! You didn’t see him, Dean…”

“You’re sure it’s him, right?”

“Sadly yes…”

“If you’re right you have to talk to him. The more you try to stay away from him, the worse it’ll get.”

Sam sighed, he had feared this would be Dean’s answer. Why did this have to happen to him? He had already wasted two weeks of college, if this kept going he wouldn’t make it much longer.

“I’ve never seen someone with so much disgust on his face, Dean,” Sam mumbled after a while, running a hand through his hair. “It’s like he’s thinking about murdering everyone around him all the time, he’s creeping me the fuck out!”

“Does he look decent at least?” Dean asked curious and Sam groaned.

“Who cares how good he looks? Dean, he’ll probably kill me if I come closer than five feet - a decent face is the last thing I’m interested in!”

“Calm down, I’m just asking,” Dean said quickly. “I doubt he’ll kill you on sight, the worst thing that might happen is that he tells you to fuck off, right?”

“Maybe he doesn’t care for witnesses...”

“You’re being ridiculous, Sam,” Dean chuckled. “If he really is who you think he is don’t you think he’s going through the same thing as you?”

Sam hadn’t thought about that if he was honest. Maybe Dean was right. He had read a lot about soulmates in school and it was always a mutual thing, at least according to studies.

“He hides it pretty well then, as you said,” Sam eventually scoffed.

“Maybe he’s just not the most emotional one.”

“Are you calling me emotional?” Sam snarled, making his brother laugh again.

“I’m calling you a coward, that’s what I’m doing!” Dean retorted. “Look, just go talk to him. The worst that can happen is that he shoves you away and then you’ll find a way to deal with it. And no, you won’t start drinking like dad, trust me. That’s a whole different story.”

Sam swallowed hard. He didn’t know Dean was aware of his fear of becoming like their dad. Not that he ever hid it, but he didn’t know it was that obvious. Most of his hate for the whole soulmate thing came from his parents, sure, but he never talked about it openly.

“If that happens and I wanna get away; can you pick me up?”

“Sammy, of course!” Dean answered without hesitating. “If he does he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve you anyway. Just jump over your shadow, alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll try…”

Sam wasn’t sure if he’d find the courage to do that, but he didn’t want Dean to think he actually was a coward either. One thing was clear, however; he couldn’t keep going like this. He’d never get anything done that way.

They talked briefly for a few minutes before Dean had to hang up and Sam was relieved about the silence that followed. As glad as he was about Dean’s support and help, he knew this was something he had to tackle all by himself and it scared him. They taught kids about soulmates in school, but never mentioned the nasty parts. It was always sunshine and rainbows, nothing else.

Sam tried hard to sleep that night, but barely got more than three hours after rolling around restlessly in his bed. He looked more like a zombie than an actual human when he dragged himself to the coffee machine to fill a big cup with espresso and some cream to help with the bitter taste. He was early to class again, but this time he sat down where the blond guy usually sat, hoping it would not cause him to go the other direction. He was too tired to really care, but maybe that would be helpful.

The blond was not late today, but barely made it on time and plopped down with a disapproving grunt next to Sam when he saw his seat taken. The look he shot Sam was more than just a little annoyed and made the other’s guts twist when he caught it.

“If you don’t plan to cut my throat you might wanna pay attention to the topic,” Sam said after a few minutes of being glared at like that, completely aware that he probably signed his own death certificate with that. He felt too awful to care, to be honest. Between his pulse skyrocketing and his hands feeling like they were frying over a bonfire, he just couldn’t find the strength to keep his mouth shut.

“You’re pretty cocky for someone who just stole my seat,” the blond huffed, squinting his eyes.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but you make me feel pretty damn shitty ever since you walked into this room the first time and it’s killing me. So just let me sit here and shut up, will you?” Sam had no idea where his sudden attitude came from, but the reaction he got surprised him even more. The blond actually smirked at him.

“I expected you to last longer, honestly.”

Sam thought he’d suffer from a stroke right there and then. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

“Excuse me?”

The blond laughed quietly and shifted in his seat to look at Sam directly before answering.

“I wondered when you’d come over, but I thought you’d last a bit longer than two weeks.”

“You really  _ are  _ an asshole, wow.” Sam huffed and took a huge sip from his espresso.

“I answer to Lucifer too, but if you want to call me asshole, go ahead.”

Sam nearly choked on his next sip, staring at the blond with wide eyes for a moment.

“Hell no,” Sam eventually huffed and turned away from the other. “Fuck me sideways, just  _ no _ !”

“That’s what he said.” Lucifer grinned.

Sam realized one thing in this very moment: there were people that asked to be hated by simply existing and then there was Lucifer, who managed to quadruple this feeling easily. This could only be a very cruel joke that he didn’t get the punchline of yet, there was no other way. 

“Do me a favor and don’t talk,” Sam eventually scoffed and did his best to ignore the blond and that he still looked at him. “You’re making everything worse when you talk.”

Luckily Lucifer, if that was even his real name, didn’t open his mouth anymore, but it barely helped Sam to get through the lecture. When the professor finally dismissed them, Sam sighed in relief, only to be reminded with a cough that he wasn’t free yet.

“I guess you know what that means, right?” Lucifer said with a smug grin on his face that gave Sam goosebumps when he turned towards him.

“Yeah, I probably fucked up horribly in my past life and this is  my punishment for it,” Sam shot back ice cold and stood up. “Whatever you think it means, it’s not gonna happen.”

Sam made it out of the classroom and almost to the next before he heard heavy steps behind him and sighed. Now the guy was a stalker too, seriously? He spun around, angry and ready to fight.

“What?” Sam snarled, trying to ignore the confusion that crept up in him once more.

“You forgot your backpack,” Lucifer said and held up the forgotten item. “I guess you need it, don’t you?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Sam took his belongings with a suspicious glare, but there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it as far as he could see.

“Til later, I guess,” Lucifer waved and as he started walking away, Sam got overwhelmed by his cursed instincts.

“Wait!”

The blond stopped, turned back and gave Sam a more than surprised look.

“Thank you, really,” Sam said, slightly ashamed. “I’d die without this thing.”

“I figured,” Lucifer nodded and shouldered his own backpack. “See you around, Sam.”

Now that Lucifer actually walked away, Sam felt even more weird than before. Lucifer didn’t come across like someone who would be nice to just for the sake of it, so why did he bother giving him back his things? He didn’t seem to care at all before; it made little sense. Unless he was trying to get on his good side, which was very unlikely.

Sam didn’t feel good about this situation at all. He didn’t know Lucifer or even liked him, so why did his body, or soul or whatever, insist that he’d play any part in his life? And still, he had been able to concentrate a little better during the last lecture. Maybe it was enough just to sit next to him, if this was the price he had to pay for good grades he would do it. Anything else, a relationship or even a friendship with this guy, was nothing he desired or wanted, ever.

Dean would probably rip him a new one if he saw him being so stubborn, but dammit, he wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for this stubbornness, so he should be used to it by now! No one had the right to control his life, not his father and surely not some random guy he never met before that fate or whatever had chosen to be his soulmate.

For the rest of the day Sam felt a little better than the week before, even if it was still difficult to keep up his focus. He was even able to sleep at night and when he walked into the next course he had with Lucifer he saw a raised hand in the back while looking for him. Surprised, but relieved that his search was shortened this way, Sam walked over and put the two coffees he had brought with him down on the tables.

“Oh, you’re bringing me gifts already?” Lucifer grinned and looked up at Sam. “How thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Sam huffed and sat down. “I just want this to go as quiet as possible and if your mouth is occupied with coffee you might talk less.”

Lucifer laughed at this, but Sam turned his attention to his notes and his own coffee. He would not put any effort into this, the coffee had been a spontaneous impulse he would not give into again, so much was clear. Lucifer was merely a tool to improve his concentration and if the blond wanted to be annoying, Sam would not hesitate to just leave again and live with the consequences. He had no desire to end up dead in this guy’s basement one day, no thank you. Soulmate or not, he still came across like a psycho and Sam would keep his distance from him as much as possible - if not physically, then at least emotionally.

The week went by like this and Sam found that only one class a day with Lucifer was enough to get him through the others. They didn’t talk much, apart from the kind of forced ‘hey’ and ‘bye’ they shared less than ten words over the rest of the week, but Sam was fine with that. Lucifer didn’t bother him much and left him alone, so it might work out like that eventually. At the end of the week Sam’s inner turmoil was almost gone completely and he couldn’t have been more relieved about that.

Dean laughed when Sam told him about the new arrangement he had with his supposed soulmate and called them the no-homo-bros, but Sam didn’t give into his mocking or let it get to him. Dean’s amusement was a fair price for not having to drop out of college.

“Careful, Sam,” Dean said with fake seriousness at one point. “You don’t want to fall for the Devil’s irresistible charm, do you?”

“Oh, shut up, Dee,” Sam hissed through gritted teeth, using a nickname he knew Dean hated with a passion. “I’ll learn to fly before I fall for this guy.”

“I’ll get you a pair of wings then.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Sam asked surprised.

“Of course,” Dean laughed. “It’s a law of nature, Sam. It always ends the same way, soulmates aren’t made to push each other away. Sooner or later things will go the natural direction.”

“Well, I’ll prove nature wrong then,” Sam huffed. “I don’t like this guy and I’m not gonna change my mind.”

“I’ll ask you again when you come home next time, but I’m glad things got better at least.”

“Me too, trust me.”

There was no way in hell Sam would change his mind about Lucifer. This guy was rude, annoying, creepy and probably dangerous too - at least it felt like he was and that was enough to make him wary. And why should he want to get involved with this guy anymore than necessary anyways? He didn’t even want to know what was going through Lucifer’s head on a regular basis, given the weird look in his eyes, it surely wasn’t something nice. No, he would stick to his decision, no matter what.

Sam had to admit that it was slightly awkward to pull through with his plan to be physically in Lucifer’s presence, but far away emotionally. Not that the blond ever acted up or treated him badly, he couldn’t describe where this feeling came from. It wasn’t different from sitting next to anyone else he didn’t talk to in other lectures, just that it  _ was  _ different and he had no idea how to put it into words. Ultimately, Sam knew it boiled down to the soulmate thing, but he was extremely focused on controlling himself in every way possible to not let that part take over him. Whether it was awkward or not, in the end it worked and that was all that mattered to him.

Lucifer himself was as cold and distant as always for the most part. Occasionally he would make a sarcastic remark or shoot the other an estimating glare, but Sam never gave him the satisfaction of letting it get to him. It wasn’t even to get his attention, Sam noticed that when he reacted the first few times. Lucifer was simply used to this behavior and Sam watched him acting the same around other people from afar. How this guy was supposed to make friends like that was beyond him, but as they said: that was none of his business.


	3. Surprising Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a surprisingly decent Thanksgiving with his brother, Sam finds himself back in Stanford and hoping the strange feeling he had for the last week will go away again soon. Lucifer, whom he blames indirectly for his unpleasant situation, acts extremely cold suddenly, however, and things don't get better when Sam runs into the other in the restrooms suddenly. This unexpected encounter turns into more than an awkward situation, though, and Sam doesn't really know what to think of it.

The weeks until Thanksgiving went by rather fast and when there were only a few days left, Sam decided spontaneously that he would go back home and called Dean to pick him up. Not that he couldn’t drive, but he never got a car himself and his brother didn’t mind doing him the favor. In fact he was actually happy about Sam’s decision because he wouldn’t be alone with their dad. What Lucifer would do wasn’t really of Sam’s concern, though he wondered if his absence would cause those annoying effects to come back. Maybe it would turn out to have no effect at all and he could go back to his normal life, who knew?

Being back home turned out to be much worse than Sam had anticipated. The only reason he didn’t catch a taxi back to campus the first evening was Dean and the fact that the brothers had the days mostly for themselves. They visited some of Sam’s old friends and visited Dean’s roommates, which made for an overall nice time while they were away from their dad. The older one of Dean’s roommates was clearly a womanizer, the other a bit awkward and quiet, but they were really nice guys and Sam enjoyed those visits a lot. He found it kind of amusing how Dean acted around the younger brother - he clearly liked him, but refused to admit it.

Thanksgiving itself was a total disaster, as their dad once again drunk-raged about Sam wasting his life and his fortune and how all he was doing in his life was sucking the soul out of people. Luckily, around nine in the evening, their old man passed out drunk on the couch and Sam managed to enjoy the rest of the evening with Dean and a few beers. They had a lot to catch up on after all and it was much easier when he wasn’t verbally attacked by his dad.

Most of the time he was home, Sam felt a little lost though. Despite the fun he had - and sometimes the not so pleasant things - something just didn’t seem to be right. He blamed it on the fact that he had decided to come without planning much, but deep down he knew it wasn’t that. He was too far away from Lucifer and his body didn’t like it. Still, there was nothing he could do about this fact at the moment, so he tried his best to distract himself enough to not think about it too much.

When Dean drove him back Sam was almost sad to leave. Sure, home wasn’t a very warm and welcoming place for him at any given point, but for some reason it had still been a good time with much less pressure. He consoled himself with the fact that he would be back soon enough, during Christmas, and that what he was doing right now would lead to a better life in the future, which made saying goodbye to his brother a bit easier at least.

Sam used the last day he had left before classes started again to go over his notes again, mentally preparing himself for the next days. Part of him wished that Lucifer wouldn’t show up the next day, but the part that made his thoughts go back to the blond all the time was much stronger sadly. He hated how little control he actually had over this, but he was not ready to let it dictate anything if he was able to prevent it somehow. If there was any possibility, no matter how small, to not fall into this soulmate trap that would ultimately ruin his life, Sam would fight against it.

To start the week off perfectly, Sam nearly overslept and made it to class the last second. He rushed to his seat and avoided the professor’s eyes going over his students, but he couldn’t stop himself from a side-glance at Lucifer, who was already sitting on his seat. Today he wore a big black hoodie, not the biker jacket he usually had on, with the hood over his head and big sunglasses covering his eyes. Something else was different about him too, which was the swollen lip with a big red cut where Sam was used to seeing a piercing.

Before Sam could even fully take in how horrible Lucifer looked, however, he heard the strict and angry voice of their professor and almost flinched.

“Mister Milton! No sunglasses in my class, you should know that by now!” The whole room was silent and Sam was sure all eyes around them were directed at Lucifer at this point. “Loose them this second or you can walk right out again!”

Lucifer showed his disapproval by puffing through his nose, but still followed the professor’s instructions to take them off. Sam’s jaw dropped and a few people around them actually hissed when Lucifer revealed his face, but the blond quickly made them turn back around with a single glare. The whole left side of Lucifer’s face was swollen and covered with bruises and he had the worst black eye Sam had ever seen. It was extremely dark and painful to even look at.

“Damn, you look awful. What happened?” Sam asked before he could stop himself. Lucifer turned his head and gave him the same pissed off glare and he wished he would have just shut his mouth immediately.

“Why the hell would you give a shit?” Lucifer snarled and slammed the sunglasses onto the table.

“Sorry, I was just asking,” Sam quickly said and raised his hands a little in defense. “No need to get all pissed.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I got into a bar fight,” Lucifer said without much cogency and glared daggers through Sam. “Satisfied?”

“Yeah, s-sure,” Sam mumbled and turned away from Lucifer, blushing slightly. Damn, he didn’t know such a simple question would make the other so angry, but apparently he was in a really shitty mood. Sam decided to just keep his mouth closed from now on to not cause any further argument and tried paying attention to the professor.

This was without a doubt the most awkward lecture of Sam’s life so far. He didn’t react well to Lucifer being so obviously angry and grumpy, it made him nervous and jumpy, and he just couldn’t stop glancing over to see if he was about to go off or not. It was a huge relief when they were finally dismissed; Sam had never fled from a class that fast before. He actually needed a moment to calm himself down after escaping Lucifer’s presence, which was how bad it really felt.

After his next class, which was less mentally challenging than the first, Sam had an hour to himself because a teacher had gotten sick and he used it for a long, quiet meal. When he went to the toilet after that he got another weird surprise; he wasn’t alone and had the worst company imaginable. Lucifer stood in front of the mirrors when he walked in and cussed vulgarly and loud, which actually startled Sam enough to freeze next to the door.

“Fucking hell,” Lucifer hissed when Sam finally peeked around the corner to actually see him. He was doing something with his face that Sam couldn’t really see, but it was clear that it wasn’t fun at all. “Son of a bitch, stop fucking bleeding already!”

Summoning all his willpower, Sam took a deep breath and stepped forward and into Lucifer’s view. The blond immediately squinted his eyes and stared at him through the mirror, his expression anything but friendly.

“What do _you_ want?” he growled dangerously.

“Taking a piss if that’s allowed,” Sam scoffed and walked past Lucifer in a hopefully confident way. “I’m not stalking you, don’t worry.”

“You better not,” Lucifer grunted. “Just hurry and leave me alone.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Sam took unusually long to relieve himself, maybe because the atmosphere was so tense, but eventually managed to get done and walked over to the sink to wash his hands.

“May I?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Lucifer hissed again and stepped away from the sink with a furious face, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Hurry, will you? I’ve got something to do!”

Sam frowned when he saw the pile of bloody paper towels in the basket next to the sink and the streaks of what surely was blood too inside of it. Whatever Lucifer was doing, it looked bad. He washed his hands as fast as possible, but didn’t move away from the sink just yet. He knew it was probably the worst thing to do at this point, but he felt bad for just leaving the other like this.

“Want me to take a look at what you’re dealing with?” Sam suggested in the most calm and friendly way possible, to which Lucifer glared at him through the room.

“What are you, a doctor?” the blond huffed annoyed. “What do you even want from me?”

“Well, you’re bleeding and can’t stop it obviously,” Sam shrugged and pointed at the basket full of bloody towels. “I’m just offering my help, that’s all.”

“And why the hell would you do that?” Lucifer stomped over and Sam could finally see what was actually going on. It didn’t look good at all. Lucifer’s lip was bleeding badly, apparently somehow the cut had ripped open again and even now that he stood in front of him the blood dropped on his chin and on the floor. Now he noticed the cut on his eyebrow too, which was bleeding into his black eye that he pressed close.

“Damn,” Sam hissed and unshouldered his backpack. “Look, I know we’re not friends but you can’t walk around like that. You’ll scare everyone to death and I doubt it feels very nice.”

The brunet searched in his backpack until he found a box and pulled it out before dropping the backpack. He looked at Lucifer again for a moment, then opened the box and placed it on the sink.

“It won’t take long,” he mumbled and took a bottle out of the box. “Just let me help you, alright? Not that anyone calls the police or something.”

“Fine,” Lucifer groaned and licked the blood off his lip almost annoyed. Sam cringed at that, but didn’t say anything. “Just hurry, I need to get to class again soon.”

Sam nodded and grabbed a new paper towel on which he poured some of the liquid on.

“This is gonna hurt, but try not to move or punch me. I need to put this on or your lip will get infected and you don’t want that, trust me.”

Lucifer just looked at him, which Sam took as him understanding and continued his work. When he pressed the towel onto Lucifer’s face he could see the blond tense up immediately, but there was no flinching or punching - not even a word coming from him.

“Alright, hold this on for a moment, will you? And lean your head forward.” Sam said and waited for Lucifer to do so before taking his hands away. “I don’t think it needs to be sewn, but if it keeps ripping open it won’t heal. You didn’t keep those towels on for long, right?”

“Not really,” Lucifer mumbled and Sam nodded.

“Give it a few minutes, the pressure will stop the bleeding,” Sam explained. “I have some antiseptic balm here I can give you, put that on twice a day and it’ll heal within a week.”

“You’re good with this,” Lucifer admitted, not without a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Thanks,” Sam laughed and got another paper towel. “I had an epileptic friend as a kid and when he had a seizure he often fell and hurt himself. It got better, but I learned to treat small wounds because of him. Pretty helpful.”

“Not bad,” Lucifer huffed.

“Okay, let me see your eye now,” Sam lifted Lucifer’s head up a little by the chin, earning another of those cold glares. “You just press on your lip, don’t remove it yet.”

Sam carefully cleaned the blood from  Lucifer’s black eye, though not without hearing the blond hiss from time to time because even the slightest touch to his skin. Once he had disinfected the cut through Lucifer’s eyebrow, which was pretty deep from what he saw, Sam pressed a clean towel onto it as well and smiled weakly.

“Not as bad as your lip,” he said reassuringly. “But I don’t wanna see the other guy if you look like this. Is he still alive or…?”

Lucifer looked at Sam for a long moment with the same estimating and piercing glare, as if he wanted to intimidate him, but suddenly his expression changed and he looked more ashamed than angry.

“You’ll find out anyways, but if you tell anyone about this or what I’m about to say you’re dead, understood?”

“Yeah, sure?” Sam was very confused now. Of course this was the most he ever talked to Lucifer, but he had not seen this behavior yet.

“It wasn’t a bar fight, my dad kind of lost his shit on me yesterday.”

Sam didn’t know what to say or if Lucifer was kidding him or not, so he just stared at the blond while holding the paper towel to his face like a complete idiot.

“Didn’t see that one coming, huh?” Lucifer said after a minute of Sam staring at him like a weirdo, actually cracking a smirk where he didn’t hold his lip.

“It’s… unexpected,” Sam admitted, managing to return the smirk partially. “So, no murder? You didn’t beat anyone to death and will be arrested soon?”

“You’d like that, wouldn't you?” Lucifer huffed. “Hate to disappoint you, but no. We had an argument, one thing led to the other and next thing I know is that I’ve got his fist in my face.”

“Damn, what an ass,” Sam hissed sympathetic.

“Yeah, but it’s fine,” Lucifer shrugged almost amused. “I’m used to it and I don’t mind taking the beatings. Better me than someone else.”

“Your mom?”

“My brothers.”

Sam’s chest stung at those words, he couldn’t help it. Imagining Lucifer, the cold and rude punk that never had a nice word for anyone, as someone who got beaten up regularly was hard, but imagining him taking those beatings for his brothers was actually very sad in Sam’s eyes.

“How old are they?” Sam asked while taking the towel from Lucifer’s eyes to distract himself from just staring at him all the time. The wound looked much better, so he got the antiseptic balm from his first aid box and put it next to it on the sink.

“Six and ten,” Lucifer smiled weakly. Sam had never heard this tone in his voice and it made him realize how little he actually knew about his supposed soulmate.

“So, you’re the big brother?”

“Looks like it,” Lucifer shrugged. “I’m not the oldest, that bastard left years ago, but I can distract our dad from them, so that’s what I do.”

Sam felt horrible imagining this. He stayed silent while carefully taking Lucifer’s hand away from the towel on his lip to examine it, fearing that whatever he might say would come across as rude or cold. He was pretty shocked and had no idea how to feel about this situation or about Lucifer telling him that in the first place.

“He hates me so much, it’s easy to do,” Lucifer continued, almost proud. “No matter what I do, you can see the hate boil up in his eyes.”

“That sounds horrible,” Sam said and stopped himself from biting his lip from feeling so uncomfortable and bad.

“Maybe, but it’s better when I’m there, you know?” Lucifer answered and carefully tapped against his lip. It had stopped bleeding by now and he looked a little relieved. “I missed two years of college because one of my brothers got sick and he didn’t give a damn, but I don’t mind. He’s a shitty father and I gladly dropped out for that.”

“So, that’s why I didn’t see you around last year.” Sam was surprised, but kind of touched somehow too. That was actually a very nice and caring thing he did not expect from Lucifer. “Is your brother alright now?”

“Yeah, luckily,” Lucifer smiled sadly. “He had a few close calls and was in the hospital for quite a while, but he recovered. Now he’s back in school and I can continue studying.”

“That’s good,” Sam sighed in relief and nodded. “I’m glad he recovered.”

“Thanks,” Lucifer sighed and pushed himself away from the sink finally. “And thanks for helping me with this mess. What I said earlier still stands though, tell anyone about what happened here or what I said and I’ll end you.”

Back to his old self within a heartbeat, why was Sam even surprised?

“I’m not that kind of asshole, but thanks for the warning,” Sam huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest with a frown.

“Just so we’re clear,” Lucifer informed Sam with the same cold attitude the other was used to from him by now. “This doesn’t change anything.”

“I hope not,” Sam shot back just as cold. He grabbed the first aid box, brushing against the balm that rolled into the sink and walked out without looking back or grabbing the balm.

As he stomped over to his next class he wondered why he had suddenly felt so bad for Lucifer, after all he was still the same rude asshole he knew by now. And yet, something inside of him knew that this would change something, whether he liked it or not. For some unknown reason Lucifer had opened up to him about his life and he was sure that this wasn’t something he consciously decided to do.


	4. Things No One Should Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Lucifer suddenly fails to come to class, Sam begins to feel absolutely awful. Things get so bad that he seeks the help of a school counselor, only to find out Lucifer had dropped out for an undefined period of time. He gets a hint, however, that it's because of family issues, and in a desperate attempt to stop himself from feeling like he's falling apart, Sam tries to find Lucifer. When he does, however, he finds out much more than he expected.

If Sam thought things between Lucifer and him couldn’t get more awkward than before, the following days proved him dead wrong. After their encounter in the toilets even the platonic greetings and farewells stopped, and Lucifer refused to even look at Sam directly or acknowledge his presence at all. Despite wanting to be glad about that - after all it meant he wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore - Sam felt really shitty when he was suddenly faced with this kind of rejection.

Rejection was a weird word for someone he didn’t even like ignoring him, but it felt exactly like that. Not that he was the kind of person to need constant attention or validation, but it was pretty obvious that Lucifer was giving him the cold shoulder, even when Sam tried to keep up his greetings at first. He quickly stopped his attempts, however, because the cold silence he got in return made him feel like an utter fool. After two days he just sat down quietly and tried to ignore the other next to him.

Sam might have gotten used to this change of events after a while if it wasn’t for Lucifer suddenly failing to come to class after another week. Sam was confused at first, but as the days passed he began to worry. His anxiety had come back by now, accompanied by an awful nausea, which only worsened his well-being and made it much harder to stay on track. It got so bad that he had to leave one of his lectures early and finally decided to do something about it.

Since he didn’t know much about Lucifer, other than that he had three brothers and a shitty father, Sam had no idea where to look for him. He decided to go to one of the school’s counselors in the end, it was worth a shot at least as he couldn’t just walk through town and knock on every door by himself. Luckily he was the only one waiting at the moment, as classes were still ongoing, so he didn’t have to sit there for too long. The counselor was a woman named Ellen, who signalled for Sam to sit right away.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” Sam immediately apologized and shifted in his seat. “But I wondered if you could help me with a co-student of mine. He hasn’t been to class in a while and I’m worried.”

“Of course you’re not disturbing me,” Ellen said with a smile and looked over her papers quickly. “You’re Sam, right? Sam… Winchester?”

“That’s me, yes,” Sam nodded awkwardly.

“Well, we don’t usually give out personal information about our students, but maybe I can still help you.”

“I thought you’d say that, but it’s really important. I know he dropped out for two years already and I worry he might be away for longer again.”

“Oh!” Ellen’s face showed a slight hint of concern and understanding for a moment, but she collected herself again quickly and sighed. “It’s about Lucifer, am I right?”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Lucifer was actually here last week to talk about this.”

“And?” Sam didn’t know why this woman couldn't just tell him what was going on, was it that difficult? “What did he say?”

“Wait a second,” Ellen said and pulled a sheet of paper out from a different pile on her desk. “Ah yes, here. There are some family issues that forced him to take a break, but he will be back soon.”

“How soon is ‘soon’?” Sam asked confused. “A week? Two? A month?”

“No time frame, just the note that a family member is hospitalized and needs his support. I’m sorry,” she put the paper back down, looking into Sam’s shocked and pale face. “I wish I could tell you more, but that’s all the information I have.”

“Alright… thanks…” Sam felt numb when he stood up and walked out of the room.

Now he felt even worse for his selfish way of thinking. Lucifer had to deal with more than just some anxiety and he sat there, demanding to know when he would come back and being a selfish prick about it. As if Lucifer owed him anything. Instead of going back to class - Sam knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyways - he decided to retreat to his room and lay down for a bit. There was no way he could sleep, but he didn’t know what else to do with himself.

While laying there with his eyes open and staring at the ceiling, Sam began to wonder if he should do anything about the current situation. Of course he couldn’t bring Lucifer back, that was ridiculous and he was needed right now, but maybe he could do something else? Ellen had said something about a hospital, maybe it wasn’t far away and if Lucifer had to take care of a family member, probably his brother, he might be there most of the time. It was a wild thought, considering their relationship - or the lack of it - but it stuck with Sam. He didn’t want to anger Lucifer by just showing up, but now that he knew it was kind of the next logical thought.

Sam sat up and glanced over to the clock. It was two in the afternoon, so if Lucifer was there he might still catch him. And if not? Well, then he would just get back here and wait for the other to return.

He grabbed his backpack and phone, calling a taxi while he walked out of his dorm already. It only took a few minutes to arrive luckily and Sam asked the driver to take him to the Universal Medical Center. He figured that this was his best bet. When they drove past a flower shop on their way, Sam instructed the driver to turn around and wait for him while he got inside. If he would find Lucifer he didn’t want to come empty handed, that was rude, so he got a small bouquet of roses and carnations in bright colors and hopped back into the waiting taxi. Maybe he would embarrass himself, but if he did he would just give the flowers to someone else or the nurses and leave again.

After finally arriving and paying the taxi driver, Sam hesitated a little. Wouldn’t it look very crazy if he just showed up with flowers randomly, without even knowing what had happened or if Lucifer wanted him to? Now that he thought of it, he wasn’t even supposed to know about the reason Lucifer was gone and it made him feel like a stalker when he looked down at the flowers in his hands.

“If he’s here he’ll understand,” Sam sighed eventually, wishing he could believe his own words. “Or he’ll throw me out and tell me to fuck off.” That was a possibility too, he had to admit that. Eventually, Sam just forced his feet to walk inside, even though he was still nervous as hell. He had made it all the way out here after all, just leaving again without even trying seemed like a pretty cowardly way out.

“Excuse me?” Sam said quietly when he stood in front of the information desk. The young woman behind the glass turned around and smiled at him.

“Hello, sir!” she said overly friendly. Sam assumed she was instructed to act like this. “How may I help you?”

“Well, I’m looking for a patient and wonder if he’s here. I don’t know his name though, I just know it’s a boy, either six or ten?”

The woman gave him a very weird look, but apparently something made her refrain from telling him goodbye because she actually pulled up the keyboard of her computer.

“Are you a family member?” she asked, even though it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t. “Do you have any additional information maybe?”

“I think his brother is visiting him regularly, his name is Lucifer Milton?” Sam asked hopefully with the most friendly smile he had to offer. “He’s a classmate of mine and is missing for a few days, I’ve been told his brother is hospitalized and wanted to pay them a visit.”

“Well, we have someone that fits your description here,” the woman said and squinted at her screen. “But visitors are strictly limited, I’m afraid. Only family members may visit this patient.”

Sam’s hope was reduced to a hot stone in his stomach.

“Is there nothing you can do?” he asked sadly.

“This is really important for you, isn’t it?” the woman asked and Sam nodded quietly. “Okay, give me a moment.”

Sam clutched the flowers tighter when she took the phone and waited impatiently.

“Hello?” she said, listening for a minute before continuing. “Yes, I have a visitor here for you. What? No, no he didn’t tell me his name, he just-”

“Sam!” Sam quickly said, loud enough for her to hear him. She nodded and continued.

“Yes, he just said his name is Sam and he… yes, of course. I’ll tell him, thank you.” She hung up and turned back to the waiting boy.

“Your friend will come over in a bit,” she said, smiling brightly. “You can sit down in the waiting area.”

“Thank you,” Sam sighed relieved. “That means a lot to me.”

He walked over to the seats in a corner, but even when he sat down he still felt very awkward and as if he was in the wrong place. So, Lucifer was really here. That was something. And if he came here now and was furious and angry that he just showed up and kept him away from his brother? Sam felt a cold shiver run down his spine at this thought and quickly shook his head in denial. No, Lucifer might not be happy, but he wouldn’t make a scene in here, no way. At least he hoped so.

A few minutes passed and Sam kept looking over to the elevators, but Lucifer came from a different direction eventually and he didn’t look happy at all when he walked up to him. He was about to say something, probably nothing nice or friendly, when Sam jumped up and stopped him.

“Before you get mad, I’m sorry,” he quickly said and held out the flowers for him to take. “The counselor told me why you were gone and I wanted to see how you’re doing, nothing more.”

“How do you even know where I am?” Lucifer asked and raised his brow at Sam before inspecting the flowers in his hands. “I didn’t tell anyone.”

“She said someone from your family was in a hospital and I just guessed,” Sam answered a bit ashamed and scratched his ear. “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay, that’s all. And, well, give you my best wishes, I guess.”

Lucifer huffed, but didn’t reply. He nodded at Sam, signaling him to follow and again at the woman behind the info counter to let her know it was okay that he did so. Sam didn’t dare to speak, too intimidated and confused, so he just walked a few feet behind Lucifer through the corridors. When the blond finally stopped in front of a door he turned around with the handle between his fingers.

“You’ll keep this to yourself, understood?” the blond asked serious and Sam nodded with a stern face.

“Understood.”

Lucifer opened the door and Sam followed him into the room. He heard the sounds of machines before seeing much, but where he expected a lot of tubes and wires, he just saw a young boy laying in a bed all by himself. If he wouldn’t know better, Sam would have never guessed this was Lucifer’s brother. The boy was not only dark skinned and had short, black hair, unlike his fair skinned, blond and blue-eyed big brother, but all of his features were completely different too. He had his eyes closed, but when Lucifer shut the door behind them they fluttered open and a smile appeared on his face.

“Luci?” he asked with a weak voice. His big brother immediately sat back down next to the bed and took one of his hands, in which Sam saw a needle and tubes sticking out.

“I’m here, don’t worry,” Lucifer said calmly and brushed his brother’s hand gently. “Raphael, this is Sam, a friend of mine.” There it was again, the word ‘friend’. It made Sam feel very conflicted. “He heard you’re feeling sick and wanted to visit you.”

“That’s so nice of you,” the boy smiled and looked at Sam. The smile the older one returned was very difficult because he could see that the boy was very, very sick.

“Hey Raphael,” Sam said overly friendly and walked over to Lucifer. “Does your big brother take good care of you?”

“Always,” Raphael smiled proudly. “Luci always takes care of me.”

“That’s very sweet of him.” Sam kind of liked the little one and he felt very sad to see him so sick. “I brought you some flowers to cheer you up, do you like flowers?”

“Yes!” the boy said excited and his smile grew brighter. “They look so pretty! Luci can we put them on the table, please?”

“Of course, Raph,” Lucifer answered. He got up and walked over to a sink in the corner where he got some water and a vase for the flowers. Sam followed him with his eyes and only now realized that there was someone else in the room too. Hidden almost completely under pillows and blankets, slept an even younger boy. 

“There you go!” Lucifer pulled Sam out of his staring suddenly and he turned back around. “Do they look good here?”

“Perfect!” Raphael decided and couldn’t take his eyes off the colorful flowers anymore.

“Raph, I’ll go get something to eat for us, okay? Do you want something special?” Lucifer asked, earning a giggle from his little brother.

“Pudding! And ice cream!”

“Of course,” Lucifer chuckled. “I’ll see if I can bribe the nurses. If Gabe wakes up tell him I’ll be back in a few minutes, will you?”

“Of course, Luci,” Raphael groaned and rolled his eyes. Lucifer nodded, grabbed Sam’s hand and literally pulled the other out of the room again. Sam didn’t know what to make of Lucifer’s behavior, especially when he had acted so differently before, but he followed him without asking any questions - not that he would have had any say in the matter, Lucifer’s grip was tight and the pulling very determined.


	5. More Than Meets The Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam doesn't know how he got into this situation. What he does know is that he is faced with a side of Lucifer he didn't know existed and that it breaks his heart in more ways than he can count. His classmate - and soulmate, of course - is suffering through much more than he lets anyone know and Sam finds himself offering his help in a very unusual and surprising way.

As soon as they were outside, all of Lucifer’s happy demeanor dropped and he covered his face with his free hand, just leaning against the door and not bothering to let go of Sam’s hand. It was as if he watched a mask fall off the other’s face, one that Sam now realized had been crackling ever since he came here.

“Lucifer, are you okay?” Sam asked carefully, worried when he suddenly heard a dry sob coming from the blond.

“No, I’m _not_ okay!” Lucifer barked, gripping Sam’s hand tighter without even realizing it, almost painfully. “He doesn’t deserve this! Everything was fine, he was better and happy and now he’s back here and even worse than before! How can I be okay with that? How?”

Sam felt a huge lump in his throat when he tried to swallow. He had never seen Lucifer actually worried or even a little emotional, so this was absolutely shocking. There were literal tears rolling down the blond’s face through his fingers and Sam felt utterly helpless and crushed.

“Hey…” The word sounded absolutely stupid when it came out of Sam’s mouth and when he awkwardly patted the other on the back he completed the picture of an idiot.

“He’s ten, man! _Ten_!” Lucifer continued, not even looking up or acknowledging Sam’s hand on his shoulder. “What did he see of life? Half of his time he spent in hospitals… that’s just not right…”

“What’s wrong with him?” Sam asked slowly, hoping to not make it even worse. “Is there nothing they can do?”

“They already did,” Lucifer said and shook his head slowly, tears still rolling down his cheeks. “He got a kidney transplant last year and things were getting better, he could even go back to school. We all thought he was fine again...”

“What happened then? Why is he back here?”

“His teacher called me last week, he broke down in class…” Lucifer slid down the door into a cowering position and Sam had no option but to do the same. “His body is rejecting the new kidney, it’s poisoning him… they removed it now, but without a new one he has no chance.”

“Shit…” Sam whispered and plopped down on the floor next to Lucifer.

He had no idea things were so dire, no wonder Lucifer couldn’t hold it back anymore. Without even realizing what he was doing, Sam began to knead the other’s shoulder with his hand. Now he felt even worse for acting like a rejected date at prom night.

“Gabe is heartbroken, he refuses to leave Raphael for even a minute,” Lucifer mumbled quietly, his voice still heavy and creaky. “I don’t know what to tell him, I can’t _do_ anything… I begged them to just take one of my kidneys but it doesn’t fit, we don’t even have the same blood type, goddammit!”

“And there is no one else?” Sam asked, but Lucifer shook his head.

“He’s at the top of the transplant list, but they didn’t give us much hope. I don’t know what to do anymore, Sam… I wanted to get us out of there so they can just be kids but I can’t, I just can’t…”

For the first time, Sam felt actual sympathy and compassion for Lucifer. Here was this young man that was going through hell day in and day out, that sacrificed everything for his little brothers, including his mental and physical health, and Sam was sure he would even kill himself to make sure they were fine - how could he be a cold, emotionless dick when being shown this side of him? He didn’t need to be someone’s soulmate to show understanding, even if it took him long enough to realize that.

“There’s gotta be a way to help him,” Sam said quietly and, much to his own surprise, leaned his head against Lucifer’s shoulder. It was an instinct he didn’t fight and somehow it felt like the right thing to do in this moment.

“I hope so,” Lucifer sighed, tilting his head so it touched Sam’s slightly. “I really do…”

After Lucifer had calmed down partially, Sam insisted that he would go to the bathroom to wash his face so he would look normal again, while he went to the nurse station so see if Raphael’s wish for pudding and ice cream could be satisfied. Lucifer didn’t argue with him, which was a little weird considering that Sam had half-expected him to. The nurse Sam talked to promised to bring their little patient some pudding, ice cream was sadly out of question. A bit more satisfied, Sam walked back to the room to wait for Lucifer. Raphael was sitting in his bed this time, a book on his lap.

“Good news,” Sam smiled when he walked over to the chair Lucifer had used before and sat down. “Pudding is on the menu for today.”

“Yippie!” Raphael exclaimed quietly with a big smile. “Where is Luci?”

“He’ll be back soon,” Sam promised. “He had to go to the bathroom quickly.”

“Do you like my big brother?” Raphael suddenly asked, completely taking Sam off guard.

“What?”

“Do you like Luci? He never brought anyone here, so I just thought…” the boy shrugged, giving Sam a knowing look and a smirk that was eerily similar to his big brother's.

“Yeah, he’s a nice guy,” Sam smiled back, not wanting to admit that he normally never even talked to the other. “You like him too, don’t you?”

“He’s the best!” Raphael stated proudly and fully convinced. “He’s not like Mikey who ran away, Luci always says we have to stick together and that he’ll never leave us.”

“That’s very sweet.” Sam felt warm in his chest at this. “He’s a good brother, I can see that. He really cares about you.”

“Dad doesn’t like it, but I don’t care,” Raphael said and pinched his nose as if they shared a secret now. “Luci is gonna be our dad soon and we’ll live in a house all by ourselves.”

“Really?” Sam asked, amused by the thought. “Did he tell you that?”

“He promised and Luci said you have to keep your promises.”

“That’s true,” Sam nodded with a stern face. “You have to do that. And if he promised he’ll make it happen, I’m sure of that.”

“You can visit us when we live there if you want to,” Raphael smiled and put the book back on the nightstand. “I can show you all my books then, do you like books?”

“I love books!” Sam laughed, to which Raphael giggled into his hand.

The two were still laughing when the door opened and Lucifer walked in, visibly confused by the sudden happy atmosphere in the room.

“Everything okay?” he asked suspicious and Sam forced himself to stop laughing.

“Raphael just invited me over to when you move into your new house, right, Raph?”

“Mhm!” Raphael nodded proudly at his big brother. “It’s okay, Luci, right? Sam can come visit us or not?”

“Of course he can,” Lucifer said with what Sam thought was a very forced smile, but Raphael didn’t seem to mind. “But first you gotta get better, okay? Maya will be here soon with your food and medicine and doctor Francis wants to do a few more tests with you after that. You think you can do that?”

“But not the blood washing machine again, please!” Raphael groaned and dropped into his pillow. “I hate that thing!”

“Not today, promised,” Lucifer said. “I’ll have to kidnap Sam though, is that okay?”

“And Gabe?”

“Let him sleep. If he wakes up one of the nurses will play with him until the doctor is done, they always do. Maybe Nancy has some time for him, they had a lot of fun last time.”

“Okay!” Raphael said, slightly relieved and turned to Sam. “I like you, Sam. You’re really nice. You’ll come visit me again, right?”

“Sure,” Sam said surprised and a bit flattered. “If your brother is okay with it, why not?”

“We’ll see,” Lucifer smiled and tucked on Sam’s shirt. When the brunet stood up and looked at Lucifer, he noticed that the cold water only slightly helped with his appearance. “You’ll be nice, yes? Sam and I will go eat something downstairs, you know how to reach me.”

“Just press the 6 on my phone and your pocket rings, yeah,” Raphael grinned and rolled his eyes. “Bye, Sam! Nice meeting you!”

“Nice meeting you too Raph, bye!”

Sam let Lucifer drag him out again, but this time they didn’t stop in front of the door. Lucifer guided him down a few stairs until they entered the cantina, where he found a table for them in a corner. He walked away for a few minutes to get two coffees, but when he sat down he didn’t look happy at all. If looks could kill, Sam was sure he'd be dead already.

“What did you two talk about?” Lucifer immediately asked, without trying to hide his disapproval.

“Nothing, really!” Sam quickly assured the other, surprised by the sudden change of his behavior. “He just told me that you’re the best brother and care for them, that’s all. We just chatted.”

“Yeah, I thought so,” Lucifer sighed. “He barely sees a different face, only Gabe and me and the nurses and doctors. I bet he told you about dad too.”

“Just that he doesn’t like that they like you more, that’s it,” Sam answered honestly. “He really seems to adore you.”

“He thinks I can do anything,” Lucifer smirked sadly and looked up. “But I can’t make that he’s not sick anymore sadly. Raphael thinks I’m Superman when in reality I’m not even Clark Kent…”

“But you’re trying,” Sam insisted. “Look what you do for him! You dropped out of college to be there for him and you do it again now. Maybe you’re not Superman, but you’re doing all you can, don’t you?”

“I’d burn this whole place down if it would save him,” Lucifer huffed. “He’s such a smart little kid and it’s all wasted because he’s sick. He doesn’t even have a rare blood type, but we still can’t find a donor that matches! It’s so frustrating.”

The two were silent for a bit, both sipping from their coffee sporadically. Sam desperately wanted to say something, but all he could think of were empty words. This wasn’t a situation to just say ‘keep your head up’, he knew that. Lucifer was obviously drained and exhausted and didn’t know how to help his brother anymore.

“What blood type does he have?” Sam eventually asked, just to say something and Lucifer sighed.

“A… it could be worse, he could have O, but it seems not even that helps…”

“I’ve got A.”

Lucifer lifted his head and looked at Sam, surprised and squinting his eyes suspiciously.

“I mean…”

“No.” Lucifer’s voice was so cold and strict that Sam’s heart actually skipped a beat. “Don’t even think about it, no.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to test me, would it?”

“This isn’t a game, Sam!” Lucifer barked and glared at the other angrily. “You can’t just come here and say ‘Oh let’s see, maybe I’m a match’ and think it works like that because it doesn’t. My brother’s _life_ is on edge here, I’m not up for any half-hearted jokes!”

“How stupid do you think I am?” Sam asked offended and glared back at the blond just as angrily. “Who says I think this is a walk in the park? I’m just saying let’s get me tested, if it’s a chance, why not, what's the big deal?”

“Because you could die, you moron! Ever heard of complications? And even if it works you don’t know if his body will reject it again or if you’ll have problems later on! He can’t go through this again, his body won’t take another failure! Hell, _I_ can’t take another failure either!”

“So?” Sam didn’t see the point. “You said they don’t have a donor and we share the same blood type, so what’s the problem in getting me tested? Lucifer, I’m sorry to break it to you, but this isn’t about you, okay? It’s about your brother.”

“Fuck, I know, okay!” Lucifer slammed a fist on the table and let his head follow shortly after. “I _know_ it’s about him and it’s killing me!”

“Look,” Sam sighed, more calm now and trying to stay this way. He laid a hand on Lucifer’s, which was ruffling through his hair, and he stayed still. “I know you’re upset and scared, I get it. But just seeing if I might be a match won’t hurt anyone, right?”

“You’re really serious with this?” Lucifer asked and looked up, Sam’s hand still on his head. “Would you actually do it if you turn out to be a match?”

“Of course I would,” Sam smiled warmly. “And this isn’t about you, don’t flatter yourself. I still don’t like you particularly. But I like Raphael, he’s a sweet kid and he deserves to live. If there’s a chance I can help him I wanna give it a try at least.”

“You’re the most stubborn person I met so far, seriously.” Lucifer huffed, but Sam saw the corners of his lip jerk up a little.

“That’s because you don’t know me,” Sam said and leaned back, finally letting go of Lucifer’s hand. “I’m the most stubborn person you’ll _ever_ meet, actually.”

At this they both had to laugh, even if it was an awkward and weird laugh. Still, Sam meant what he had just said. This wasn’t about Lucifer, not really at least. He did kind of warm up to the blond, even if he disliked the idea but, he really wanted to help Raphael and the brothers deserved the chance to get away from their awful dad to live a better life. Wasn’t that what he had done too by going to college?

After a few moments of silence between them, Lucifer suggested they get something to eat and Sam was relieved about the lighter topic. Even if hospital food wasn’t his favorite, he couldn’t deny that he was hungry. It turned out to be less awful than he had feared luckily and when they were done they went back to the unit Raphael’s room was in to wait for the doctor to come out. They didn’t talk much, maybe there wasn’t anything to say right now, but it was less awkward than before.

Finally, when the door opened and a man and two nurses came out, Lucifer jumped up and rushed over to them.

“And? Is everything okay?” he asked, unable to hide his worry any longer.

“He’s stable for now,” the doctor said, but he still gave Lucifer a sad look. “I can’t say for how long, though. The dialysis works at the moment, but if he doesn’t get a new kidney soon it might not help anymore.”

“Doctor?” Sam interrupted the two, drawing the doctor’s attention. He held out his hand for the man in white to shake. “I’m Sam, a friend of Lucifer. I wondered if you could test me to see if I might be a match for Raphael? Lucifer told me we have the same blood type and since there aren’t many hopes for a new donor I wondered if I might be able to help him.”

“You would consider donating a kidney to him?” the doctor asked surprised and Sam nodded quickly.

“If I can, yes,” he answered. “I know it’s a long shot, but I’d like to try and get tested at least. If I’m able to help him I will do it.”

“That’s very noble of you,” the doctor said and turned to Lucifer, who stood next to them awkwardly. “You have a very good friend here, Lucifer.”

“Yeah, it seems like it…” Lucifer mumbled, a hint of red on his cheeks now.

“If you have time I could explain the procedure to you now? Just so you know what might happen if the test results come back positive.”

“Yes, of course!” Sam agreed eagerly. “Lucifer, will you say bye to Raphael from me? But don’t tell him anything yet, I don’t want him to be disappointed if it won’t work.”

“Of course, yeah,” Lucifer answered perplex, but still nodded. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Come, we can go to my office for the details.”

The doctor put an arm around Sam’s shoulder and only left the boy the chance to smile back at Lucifer as an answer. That he actually wanted to do this seemed to shock the other more than his outburst from before, because he kept looking after them in utter confusion as they walked away. For Sam it was the right thing to do though. Even if he rejected the idea of soulmates and refused to acknowledge its influence, there was no way he would let an innocent child die if there might be something he could do about it. If Lucifer knew him, he would understand, he thought.


	6. Decisions That Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After offering Lucifer his help, Sam is determined to stick to it, even though he feels nervous. Seeing the hope in Lucifer, no matter how small, encourages him to go through with it and he tries his best to make sure everything will be taken care of.

Sam quickly realized that donating one of his kidneys would be a bigger deal than he had expected, but the doctor assured him that once it would actually happen - if he was a match of course - the worst would already be over. They took his blood and urine for tests and since they had enough time, doctor Francis decided to run the other tests right away, so in case a donation was possible things would go faster. Sam didn't mind, an EKG and some x-rays weren't anything he was concerned about and as he knew already, his health was perfectly fine, just like his kidneys.

“We will test your blood today, so we might know if you can donate tomorrow already,” the doctor informed Sam after the last examination and the student nodded in return. “What you are willing to do is a very honorable thing, are you sure you thought this enough?”

“I know there are risks, but I'm sure about it, yes,” Sam replied without hesitating.

“You're a special young man, Sam. Let's hope we have good news for you soon.”

Sam thanked the doctor and shook his hand one last time before finally leaving the lab to head home. This day had taken a very unexpected turn, but the way things were now didn't bother him somehow. To Sam's surprise, someone was already waiting for him near the information: Lucifer. Given that it was already very late, Sam was worried he might have bad news, but when he came closer he realized that the blond simply looked tired.

“Hey there,” Sam said with a smirk and waved his hand. “What are you still doing here?”

“Waiting,” Lucifer simply shrugged. “Thought you might wanna take a quick walk.

“Sure, why not.” Sam didn’t know what to think of this, but he needed to head back to the dorm anyways, so he didn’t mind. “Are you going home?”

Lucifer walked over to the brunet and joined him on the way out, hands buried in his pockets.

“It’s time,” he sighed, obviously not wanting to leave. “Gabe is already in his bed and asleep, but I came back to check on Raphael again and see if you’d still be here.”

“I’m surprised you actually have a nice side,” Sam smiled as they made their way down the front stairs. “I thought you didn’t even know how to write the word ‘nice’.”

“They’re my brothers, of course I care!” Lucifer huffed offended. “And besides, I wanted to thank you, too. You know, for what you wanna do.”

“Thank me when it’s over and Raphael is fine again,” Sam said with a sigh. “If we’re even a match. They don’t know yet.”

“The fact that you even want to do this is worth a thanks already, you know.”

The two walked through the dim light of the evening in silence for a while, both in their own thoughts. Sam knew he didn’t have to do this of course, no one forced him to or even asked him to, but he would have felt wrong for not trying at least. He didn’t know Lucifer very well, that was right, and they didn’t really get along much until now either, but still. Seeing this new side of his classmate made Sam realize that his usual behavior wasn’t the real Lucifer, or at least not completely. Even now he was much less cold or rude. He was obviously nervous and Sam fully understood why, but the behavior he knew from school wasn’t there at the moment. Sam thought he might be able to get used to this Lucifer.

“Raphael asked if you’d come back tomorrow,” Lucifer said after a while and Sam could hear that he wasn’t comfortable with this topic. He sounded almost embarrassed to even bring it up. “He told Gabe about you after he woke up and the little one wants to meet you too. You probably don’t have time, that’s okay, I just promised to ask.”

“You keep your promises, I know,” Sam answered with a smile. “I’ll gladly come, sure. The doctor said they might know more tomorrow already, so I’ll be here anyways. Doesn’t hurt to pay your brothers a visit.”

“Gabe is really annoying sometimes though, just so you know,” Lucifer laughed quietly. “He probably won’t shut up for hours.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind that at all,” Sam chuckled. “I have to go back to the counselor to tell her I might drop out for a week or two tomorrow, but then I’ll come over, promised.”

“Wait… drop out?” Lucifer asked confused and stopped dead in his tracks. “What do you mean you have to drop out?”

“Well, if it turns out we’re a match I’ll have to stay in the hospital for a while,” Sam shrugged and turned around. “Doctor Francis explained everything, usually it’s just a week or two to make sure everything went well.”

“So, you’ll miss classes and fall behind,” Lucifer mumbled.

“I think I can manage missing a few classes, it’s fine,” Sam assured the blond with a smile. His sudden concern was something he didn’t expect to be honest. “I’ll just do what I can on my laptop, it’s no big deal.”

Lucifer didn’t answer, but he looked awfully ashamed, even in the upcoming darkness.

“It’s okay, really,” Sam said again, more persistent this time. “So what if I really fall behind? There are more important things, really.”

“You shouldn’t even have to say this,” Lucifer sighed and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to get you into this kind of trouble, I'm sorry.”

“Hey, who stalked you and suggested this in the first place?” Sam asked, raising a brow. “If I do fall behind it’s my fault and I’ll catch up again, no problem. Let’s focus on your brother, alright? We can worry about other things later.”

Lucifer finally looked back up, a relieved expression on his face as he nodded and started walking again. It didn’t take long before Lucifer had to make a turn and part with Sam, but the brunet assured him again that he’d come over the next day before continuing his way back to campus by calling a taxil. Back in his room, he packed a few things just in case he had to stay away for a while and then headed to bed.

Sam was nervous as hell when he went to the counselor the next day, not quite sure how he was going to tell her without giving away the actual reason why he’d be gone, but he knew he couldn’t just leave without a word. Ellen was shoving things around on her desk when he walked in, but he didn’t mind because it was still early after all.

“Good morning, Sam!” she said quite happy. “You look better than yesterday already, is everything okay?”

“Yes, but I need to talk to you for a moment,” Sam answered and sat down. “I might have to take a break for a few weeks, do you think that’s possible?”

“Oh no, did something happen?” Ellen asked, worried right away.

“Well, kinda,” Sam sighed. “I don’t know for sure yet, but I want to make sure it’s okay before I do. I might have to stay at the hospital for one or two weeks soon and don’t just want to vanish.”

“You can take a break of course, but I hope it’s not something serious.”

“Just a small procedure, nothing bad, really,” Sam smiled. “Is there anything I can do to not fall behind too much while I’m gone? Assignments, notes, things like that?”

“Let me take a look...” Ellen typed something into her computer, clicked around for a while and eventually nodded. “I see you’re in most classes with one of my IT girls, Charlie. She usually keeps all her notes online, I’ll ask her if you can use them.”

“Really?” Sam didn’t expect that. “That would be so helpful!”

“She’s very precise with her notes, so I’m sure they will be a big help. And I see you have an exam next week too, I’ll ask your professor to let you take it when you come back instead.”

“That’s awesome!” Sam was relieved. “I’ll make sure to not fall back too much.”

“You do what you gotta do,” Ellen smiled at him warmly. “Don’t put your grades over your health, that’s never a good thing. I hope everything will go well and I’ll see you come back soon.”

“Thank you, also for your help.” Sam stood up and couldn’t help but shake the counselor’s hand. “I’ll call you when I know if I have to stay at the hospital or not, is that okay?”

“Of course, good luck, Sam!”

Hoping that one of his worries was taken care of for now, Sam left the counselor’s office. Since the day had just begun and the first classes were about to start, he had to evade a lot of students on his way back to his room. When he was finally there he had enough of human interaction for the day already and let out a weak laugh at how much he still hated large crowds of people. With a sigh he pulled his phone out of his pocket to take care of the next thing on his list: call Dean. As he expected, his brother was not happy to be forced to talk so early.

“Dude, it’s… it’s not even seven! It’s basically still night, you know that?”

“Sorry man,” Sam laughed, still surprised that he kept forgetting Dean was an hour behind. “I gotta talk to you quickly, do you have a moment?”

“This better be important,” Dean growled and Sam heard a suppressed yawn. “What’s up?”

“I might be gone for a week or two, so if you wanna call me you need to wait.”

“Where are you going? Australia?” Dean laughed. “Why can’t I call you?”

“I’ll be at the hospital, they don’t allow phones, silly.”

“Wait… hospital?” That apparently woke Dean up finally. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, no need to freak out,” Sam quickly assured his brother, amused by how quick he could change from annoyance to worry. “A friend might need my help and I need to stay there for a bit.”

“Friend? What friend?” Sam could practically hear Dean raising his eyebrows at him. “What friend asks you to stay at the hospital?”

“It was my idea, relax,” Sam sighed and sat down on his bed. “Look, you remember I told you about that guy, Lucifer?”

“Oh, your other half?” Dean asked amused.

“Don’t call him that,” Sam rolled his eyes. “But yes, that one. Well, he has a brother who’s really sick and needs help. I’ll find out if I can help him today and if I can I’ll have to stay at the hospital too for a while.”

“Dude, what are you doing over there?”

“He’s gonna die, Dean,” Sam said seriously. “He needs help and if he doesn’t get it he won’t make it much longer. I can’t just let that happen if I’m able to help him, you know?”

“Yeah, sure, but…” Dean was obviously uncomfortable and Sam couldn’t blame him. He wasn’t the type for such things, really. “You don’t know that kid, not even this Lucifer guy. It’s about that soulmate thing, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not that,” Sam shook his head slowly. “I can’t explain it, but Lucifer isn’t as much of an asshole as I thought. He’s going through a lot, takes care of his two little brothers alone because his dad prefers to beat the shit out of him and he’s at his wit’s end. He’d die for them, Dean. Do you know anyone else who’d do that for their little brother?”

There was no answer coming from Dean, just some inaudible mumbling that made Sam chuckle.

“I thought so. Look, I know it sounds weird, but his brother is really sweet and nice, I'm sure even you would like him, and he doesn’t deserve this, you know? Maybe I can help him, maybe not, but I wanna try at least.”

“That’s so you, really,” Dean huffed. “Always the good samaritan.”

“I know you think this is about me giving into this dumb soulmate thing and doing something stupid because of it, but it’s not.” Sam always knew how Dean ticked, it was clear this was his assumption. “I just wanna give this kid a chance, that’s all. I’d do the same if this whole thing didn’t exist.”

“I know you would,” Dean sighed after a moment. “Just do what your stubborn ass wants to do, but watch out for yourself, will ya? As much as you annoy me, I’d hate to be a brother short.”

“You already _are_ the short brother, dude,” Sam laughed.

“You wanna fight me, bitch?”

“Sure, come over, jerk. But bring chocolate and flowers, I might not fight back much for a while.”

“Eww, what am I? Your lover from hell?” Dean shuddered overdramatically. “Just stay alive, alright? I’m not gonna explain to dad what happened if you die, I promise you that!”

“As if he’d care,” Sam scoffed. “But I’m not gonna die, no way. I’ll call you when I'm our again, alright?”

“You better.”

When Sam hung up he felt slightly better. He didn’t expect Dean to be cheering, he knew him better than that, but his brother was much more accepting than he thought he’d be and it was kind of relieving. Of course he didn’t understand Sam’s reasons, Sam didn’t fully understood them himself, but he didn’t tell him he was crazy at least, that was something.

Sam layed down for a moment, trying not to think about anything and just relax a little. Some things Dean had said made him wonder if he was really doing this just for Raphael, but he was, or not? He wanted to believe that, but he honestly couldn’t tell. Of course he wanted to help the kid, it was true that he didn’t deserve this and Sam wanted to give him a chance, but that wasn’t the only reason. Something in Sam had reacted when he saw Lucifer break down in front of him and when he saw him upset or scared. Even though he was able to control himself most of the time, he had had no influence on this reaction. He had felt actual sympathy for Lucifer, as much as he tried to ignore this fact.

Was this what soulmates did to each other? Make them be vulnerable when they tried to be strong and break their hearts when they saw the other suffer? Was this why his dad was so crushed after his wife’s death that he stopped caring and sought comfort in alcohol the way he did? And what would happen to Sam if he wasn't able to stay in control anymore? Would he become just as dependent on someone else like his dad or would things get even worse? He already cared for Lucifer without wanting to, there was no denying that. Imagining that this continued sparked more than just concern; it created actual fear in him.


	7. It Can Always Get Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, Sam returns to the hospital hopefully, only to be faced with the horrors that the last night brought for Lucifer. He never thought he would see his classmate the way he does now, but it makes him realize that his decision to help him was the right one.

Sam would have loved to just stay in his bed forever and not think about anything other than sleep anymore, but he couldn't do that. He had promised Lucifer to come back today, and Raphael too, and he knew he couldn't break this promise. Too much depended on it, if he just stayed here he would be a total coward and an awful human being. So, when noon came closer, Sam pushed himself off the bed and got dressed properly.

With a duffle bag full of clothes and other necessities, as well as his laptop and the hope he was making the right decision, Sam locked the door to his room and made his way outside. He called a taxi to get to the hospital again, this time the ride was much shorter because they didn't stop to buy flowers. At the hospital Sam walked up to the info counter again, luckily facing the same young woman from the day before.

“Hello there!” she greeted him surprised. “Back for a visit?”

“For starters,” he smiled and showed her his bag. “I might stay a while, we'll see.”

“Right, doctor Francis told me! I’m really proud of you for offering your help, you are truly a wonderful young man.”

“Thank you, but it’s nothing,” Sam smiled awkwardly. He did not expect this kind of reaction.

“It’s more than most people would do,” the woman smiled back brightly. “Lucifer instructed me to let you through when you arrive, same way as yesterday.”

“Thank you.”

Sam had expected Lucifer to pick him up again, but he still remembered where they went to before luckily, so he easily found his way alone. He knocked at the door, hearing a quiet voice asking him to come in after a moment. When he did, he saw Raphael sitting upright in his bed and Lucifer laying half on his blanket, head on his arms and visibly asleep. He had to smirk at this sight. He closed the door as quiet as possible and walked over to the bed.

“Hey, Raph,” Sam whispered as the boy grinned at him. “Did your brother have a long night?”

“Dad was mean to him again,” Raphael scowled and looked at Lucifer. “He didn't get any sleep I think.”

“That's awful,” Sam said sadly and carefully carried another chair over to the bed to sit down. “Where's your little brother? Didn't he bring him over today?”

“Luci said he'll stay with friends for a while,” Raphael answered very quietly and visibly sad. “He didn't wanna tell me why. Maybe he was too tired.”

“I'm sure he'll be fine,” Sam assured the boy, but deep down he feared there was more behind it than just that. There was no reason to upset Raphael though, so he decided to ask Lucifer later and focus on his little brother for now. “What are you doing right now? Do you wanna play a game maybe?”

“Yes!” Raphael's eyes lightened up at the question. “But we have to be quiet so Luci can sleep.”

“I think we can do that,” Sam smiled.

After a bit of searching through one of the closets near the door, Sam found a memory game and a card game they could play and the two actually spent the next two hours with quiet laughter and silent victory cheers. Sam really enjoyed playing with Raphael. He was obviously really happy and excited about this new experience. They were in another round of playing cards - Sam tried to explain the basics of poker to the boy because he had asked and Raphael turned out to be a very good student - when Lucifer finally moved and slowly got up.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Raphael greeted his big brother, who looked at the two in front of them rather confused for a moment.

“Sam?” he asked before quickly hiding a yawn behind his hand. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Getting destroyed by your brother,” Sam laughed and put his cards down. “He's just too good for me to win.”

“I told you, I learn fast!” Raphael grinned and put the cards together to shuffle them. “Another round?”

“Later, okay?” Sam said and looked back at Lucifer. “I hope you don't mind, we didn't wanna wake you up, so we played some games.”

“It's alright, no worries.” Lucifer yawned again, rubbing his eyes. “Do you wanna grab a coffee?”

“Sure, do you mind Raphael?” Sam asked, but the boy just shook his head.

“I still got my book, I'll be fine.” Raphael smiled.

“We won't be gone for long, promised,” Lucifer said as he got up. Sam smiled at Raphael quickly before following the blond outside of the room.

“Your brother is really sweet,” Sam said as he followed Lucifer down into the cantina, to which the other simply nodded. Only after they got two strong coffees and sat down somewhere, Lucifer spoke again.

“Sorry for that, the sleeping thing, I mean.” Lucifer groaned and gulped down a huge sip of steaming brown liquid. “I didn't know you were coming over so early. I was just so damn tired, I guess I passed out.”

“Don't apologize, you needed some sleep,” Sam assured Lucifer and took a sip of his coffee too. “Raph and I had quite some fun together, it's alright.”

“Thanks for entertaining him a bit, I think he really misses company sometimes.”

“He got you at least, I'm sure he appreciates that.”

Lucifer sighed, but didn't answer. Sam thought he knew why. A brother was nice, but it was different from actually having friends and that seemed to get to Lucifer quite hard. He didn't want this for his brother and Sam understood. Just the thought of Dean being in a similar situation without him being able to do anything was more than just a little depressing.

“I talked to doctor Francis yesterday,” Lucifer eventually said without looking up. “He told me the tests were all positive, only the blood work needed to be done.”

“I know, I'm glad it all went well,” Sam nodded. “I made sure I can still keep up with school if I'll stay here, the counselor said I might be able to copy someone else's notes who keeps them online and reschedules a test I have, so it won't end in total chaos.”

“I never thought of that,” Lucifer chuckled deeply. “I'm already weeks behind again because I just said I'll be gone for a while. I already lost two years because of this, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had to drop out completely this time.”

“You have more important things on your mind than classes for now,” Sam smiled knowingly. “When this is all over I can help you catch up with everything if you want to. I mean, it’s just a few weeks now, right? I’m sure you can still make it.”

“I'll manage somehow, but thanks.” Lucifer shook his head, but more to himself than towards Sam. “I'm more worried about Gabe right now, I'm not sure if Raphael told you.”

“He said he stays with friends for a while because your dad was mean to you again.”

“That's the light version of what happened,” Lucifer scoffed. “I didn't want to scare him more than I had to, but he asked about his brother of course.”

“It's much worse, right?” Sam asked and Lucifer nodded sadly.

“CPS took him,” he said with the most heartbreaking shame in his voice. “One of the neighbors finally had enough and called the cops when my old man lost it again last night. Gabe  woke up from the noise and he has a huge bruise on his arm from falling a few days ago, they saw it of course didn't believe me when I told them about it and called CPS for his own safety. I saw it happen, even comforted him, but they didn't seem to listen. They thought dad beat him up and said they had to do it.”

“I'm so sorry, Lucifer,” Sam whispered and laid a hand on the other’s. “Is there nothing you can do? I’m sure they want him to be happy and well, right?”

“I might've made it worse when they said they'd take him… dad didn't give a shit about the news and somehow my hand and his nose had a small meeting. His nose lost.”

“Ouch.” Sam felt awful, but his lips still jerked at the thought of Lucifer breaking his dad's nose.

“He launched at me and they arrested him because I'm still a minor,” Lucifer smirked with a hint of pride. “But it'll be hard to get Gabe back, they told me. I talked to the CPS lady for a few hours and she said they won't let him go back to my dad. She believed me when I told her that I would do anything for him and that he never hit him, but if I want him back I need to file for custody and to do that I need a place to live and money and, of course, be a legal adult…”

“Fuck, that sure is a mess...”

“Yeah,” Lucifer huffed unamused. “They can't stay at the house because it's dad's and I can't work because Raphael needs me and I need a job to earn money to get a place to live with them. A dilemma if I ever saw one. Right now he’s in a very nice family with two other kids his age, the woman told me, but it’s just not his home, you know? It’s not _his_ family...”

“Well, for now Gabe is safe, right?” Sam tried to point out something positive, to which Lucifer nodded slowly. “Your dad can't hurt him and maybe things with Raphael will get better soon. One problem at a time.”

“If that idiot who calls himself our father would just die, a lot of our problems would be solved.”

“I guess you don't have any other family members around?”

“No, no one. I don't know where the hell Michael is and I don't care, all we got is dad and he's a useless piece of shit,” Lucifer sighed. “I'm sorry, I keep bothering you with all this crap, it must be really annoying.”

“Well, you have to talk to someone and I'm here. I’m glad if I can help somehow, even if it’s only with listening.”

“And you feel obliged to listen because of some dumb coincidence, don't you?”

“Do you really think that?” Sam wondered and gave Lucifer a curious glare. The blond shrugged.

“You don't know me, I don't know you, we're not even friends, even if everyone here thinks that,” Lucifer said, looking at Sam. “The one I am out there, the asshole that scares everybody by just looking at them? That’s a mask I'm wearing to protect my brothers. It stops people from talking to me and from stealing my time and attention, but you still didn't stay away. Why else if not for this dumb soulmate thing? Oh, don't look like that, do you think I didn't feel the same way you did?”

Sam felt his face heat up and looked away to hide his blatantly obvious blushing.

“So, I'm not making this up,” he said and bit his lip. “It’s true.”

“Yes and it's why you're here, why you want to help my brother even if you don't know him at all and why you listen to me rambling. It's not because you _want_ to do it, it's because you _have_ to.”

“I hate to disappoint you, but you're wrong,” Sam said and turned back to face Lucifer with a stern glare. “I'm not a cold-hearted monster, I would help your brother even without this shit going on.”

“But you wouldn't know him if it wasn't because of it, right?”

“No, I…” Sam blushed again, but this time kept his eyes on the other. “I wouldn't. But that doesn't change a thing, I'd still help him if I knew he needed it.”

Lucifer sighed. He looked into his empty cup, shook his head and got up to get himself another. When he came back he still had this very concentrated expression on his face that made Sam feel miserable.

“I'm not saying you wouldn't, don't get me wrong,” Lucifer continued, stirring his coffee. “But it's a fact that this soulmate thing exists and neither of us likes it. I don't have time for this, I can't afford thinking about it or allow it to consume me. My brothers need me, they don’t have anyone else they can count on. If I give into this I will be distracted and can’t be there for them anymore the way I have to anymore. I can see that you try to fight it yourself and you're starting to lose, that’s not good. It won't end well, it just can't. Soulmates or not doesn't matter, I can't afford these kind of things.”

“Do you know why I fight it?” Sam asked and Lucifer shook his head slowly, looking up from his coffee. “My parents were soulmates too and I saw what happens when you let it consume you. Mom got killed and dad just… he just stopped caring. All he does anymore is drink and yell and pass out in random places. I never knew what it's like to have a real family, a place you come home to and where you are loved and can just be happy. I only had my brother and the knowledge that soulmates destroy people. I don't associate them with love and compassion, just with coldness, anger and hate. If they were both still here, maybe things would be different. I’m the little brother in your story, the one that only ever had his big brother… it didn’t help strengthening my faith in soulmates.”

“And you're scared you'll end up like your dad, don't you?” Lucifer assumed, unknowingly hitting very close to home. “You're scared that you'll be unable to go on if something happens to your soulmate; that if they die, you won’t manage to live your life without them anymore.”

“In a way," Sam mumbled ashamed. "But that's not al, not reallyl. I don't know why I shouldn't be able to choose the one I spend my life with alone, you know? It's just not fair, I never asked to get a soulmate, I never asked to be played with like a puppet on strings. I have plans, I don't want my life to depend on someone I don't even know. It’s a selfish reason, I know, but it doesn’t change that I feel this way.”

“You're not as shallow as I thought you were,” Lucifer smirked at the other. “You know what you want, you're stubborn and determined. I like that. Kinda makes you less appalling.”

“T-thanks?” Sam didn't know what to think of this. Lucifer didn't try to flatter him right now, did he?

“I'm glad you want to help Raph, really,” Lucifer continued after nodding. “But I don't want to use you like that. You don’t owe me or him anything because of fate or coincidence, it would be wrong to ask you for it. Just don't do it because you feel like you have to, I guess, that's all I'm saying.”

“I don't do it because I have to, I _want_ to do it,” Sam answered immediately, without hesitation. “Raphael deserves better and so do you and Gabe, soulmates or not. Even if we’d shake hands and never see each other again after this day I'd do it, because it's the right thing to do.”

“I can’t say I’m not relieved to hear that;” Lucifer sighed. “It’s just all too messed up, no matter what I do, it won’t work out. Meeting you was weird and kind of scary, I admit that. I didn’t expect something like this to happen anytime soon, it just wasn’t on my radar.”

“It wasn’t on mine either, in case that helps,” Sam smiled weakly. “I just wanted to study and become a lawyer to finally get away from my dad, you were not part of the plan.”

“Yeah, sorry for that,” Lucifer smirked. “I tried my hardest to throw you off at least, you gotta give me that.”

“Oh, I do,” Sam laughed. “I was so creeped out I whined to my brother about why I had to be punished like that.”

“Thanks.” Lucifer returned the laugh. “I guess he found it highly entertaining.”

“Yeah, he suggested a bullet to the head as the alternative of talking to you. Not really what I wanted either, so I decided to just talk to you.”

“Regret your decision already?”

“Meh,” Sam shrugged, not without a slight grin on his face. “You’re not what I expected, but I guess I could have had it worse.”

“You know,” Lucifer smiled, for the first time not only weakly. “If my brothers wouldn't suffer from it I'd actually consider to drop my thoughts on this whole soulmate topic. You're rather interesting.”

“You mean because I'm a stubborn idiot with daddy issues too?” Sam joked and Lucifer’s smile got a bit wider.

“Something like that, yeah,” Lucifer laughed.


	8. A Shimmer Of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's hope is proven right when the doctor comes back to them with positive news. He's as excited as Raphael, only Lucifer still seems to be trying to fully process the situation. But Sam knows he's just having a hard time putting his thoughts into words, which shows very soon.

Since he didn’t have to go back to college at the moment, Sam spent the afternoon with the two brothers. In probably the strangest twist of his life, Raphael actually grew on him more and more. They played a round of Monopoly, during which Sam could watch the interaction between him and Lucifer more closely, and he realized that it was very similar to his own relationship with Dean in a certain way. They laughed, but also teased each other when one of them didn’t have things work out in their favor. It was nice to watch, but inside it made Sam very sad and he hoped more than ever before the doctor would come back with good news soon. If he had to sacrifice a kidney so these two could stay together like this, he was going to do it in a heartbeat.

In the late afternoon, Raphael became tired and Sam excused himself to get more coffee for the older ones, but he mostly left because he wanted them to have a brotherly moment without being disturbed. They had spent the whole day together after all, Raphael and Lucifer surely needed some time alone. On his way back from the cantina he heard a familiar voice and turned around, coffees still in hand, to a very happy looking doctor.

“Sam!” doctor Francis said and quickly walked up to him. “I’m glad to catch you outside, do you have a moment?”

“Of course, yeah,” Sam answered perplexed. “Do you have the results?”

“We do and they are very promising.”

Sam’s jaw dropped, his grip around the coffee cups tightening slightly.

“So, I can donate? I can help Raphael?” he asked, completely shocked and surprised.

“If that’s your wish, yes,” the doctor nodded with a smile. “Your examples match almost perfectly, much better than the first. We have very good chances that Raphael’s body won’t reject the transplant this time.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!” Sam gasped, almost dropping the coffees from excitement. “When can we do it? Can we do it today already?”

“Slow down, young man,” Doctor Francis laughed. “You have to be sober for the operation, so I’m afraid it won’t happen today.” Sam looked very disappointed, but the doctor continued before he could say anything. “But we already reserved the surgery room for tomorrow morning, so if you agree and Raphael's condition allows it, we can do it then.”

“Awesome!” Sam couldn’t believe it, this was way better than he had expected. “Is there anything I need to know, apart from being sober?”

“We will operate on Raphael and you simultaneously, to not lose any time. We are very lucky that you want to do this, the chances for success are much higher this way. Since Raphael is still a child we won’t take your whole kidney, we will cut out a certain amount of it and transplant it. The procedure will take a while, but because we have a living transplant the chances are very high.”

“So, he’ll be fine?” Sam asked excited. “He’ll live a normal life again and won’t have to fear another rejection?”

“Of course I can’t guarantee that,” the doctor said with a stern face. “But since you two are such a good match the prognoses are very good. Raphael will have to take care of himself of course and he will have to take medication for the rest of his life to prevent another rejection, but if his body accepts the transplant it will be a huge improvement.”

“I’m on board,” Sam said without hesitating. “I already packed some things in case I could donate, so I can stay here right away.”

“That was very thoughtful of you,” doctor Francis smiled. “I will come with you to break the news.”

“I’m not sure if Raphael is still awake,” Sam said as they continued their way to the boy’s room. “He was very tired earlier.”

“We’ll see,” the doctor answered.

Sam nodded, he was about to kick the door to alert Lucifer he was there, after all his hands were still full. Doctor Francis saw his attempt and quickly opened the door for them. Sam smiled at him and walked inside. As he had expected, Raphael was asleep, but Lucifer’s attention was on them right away and he jumped up to walk over.

“Doctor! Is everything alright? Do you have any news?”

Sam put the coffee down next to Lucifer, fearing he might actually drop his when he got the new information, before the doctor answered.

“Yes and they are good ones finally,” doctor Francis smiled. Lucifer gave Sam a confused look, who nodded toward the man in white so the blond turned his attention back to him. “Sam and Raphael’s examples are an almost perfect match, we can do the transplantation right tomorrow morning. So far, Raphael’s health allows another operation and Sam already gave me his okay. If Raphael's condition stays the same over night, I don't see a problem.”

“Seriously?” Lucifer asked with wide eyes and turned back to his classmate. “You’re not kidding me?”

“Nope,” Sam smiled at the other. “We are ready to go as soon as Raph and I are sober.”

“Oh god, Sam!” Lucifer gasped and suddenly, without a warning or giving Sam any chance to react, grabbed the brunet and pulled him into his arms and into a tight and almost squishing hug. “Thank you so much! You don’t know how much this means to me!”

“Hey, I told you I’d do it,” Sam said awkwardly and patted Lucifer’s back the best he could. “He’s gonna be better soon, I’m sure of that.”

“Raphael has the best chances of recovering with Sam’s kidney,” the doctor said and caught Lucifer’s attention again, who slowly let go of his classmate. “He is a much better match than the last donor and it's gonna be a living transplant, which increases the chance for success too. I’m not allowed to make legal promises, you know that, but given the circumstances, I’m confident that it will all go well and Raphael will recover very soon.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Lucifer mumbled, looking back and forth between the doctor and Sam.

“I’d say you prepare your brother when he wakes up,” the doctor suggested with a smile. “I will come by tonight to talk to him again and in the morning we will prepare everything.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Lucifer said and took the man’s hand tightly. “I can’t thank you enough for this, really.”

“Thank me when everything is over,” the doctor replied, but still shook Lucifer’s hand with a smile. “I will ask Karen to make the second bed in this room ready for you, Sam. I’m sure you want to stay here instead of in a separate room.”

“That would be great, thank you,” Sam nodded and smiled. “I want to know if Raphael is doing well and I’m sure it will be easier for Lucifer too.”

“Of course, I’ll be back later.”

The doctor nodded again and left the two young men alone. After staring at the door for a good five minutes, Lucifer finally turned around to Sam again, his face still a mask of disbelief. Sam smiled weakly and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay, Lucifer, I know it,” he said carefully.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this, Sam,” Lucifer mumbled slowly. “You know Raphael for two days and me for a few weeks and you’re doing something so huge for us!”

“I told you, if the tests say yes, I’m on board.” Sam smiled. “Maybe you should sit down and drink your coffee, I don’t want you to drop to the floor.”

Lucifer nodded and allowed Sam to guide him over to his chair. The brunet got their coffees and sat down on his own chair, excited and a little nervous, but much more than that very relieved that the doctor had given them such good news.

They sat in silence for quite some time, drinking their coffee - Lucifer more sporadically than Sam - and waiting. Sam knew that Lucifer’s mind was probably going through everything that could go wrong right now, but he could see that he was just as relieved as he was himself. After all, his brother was about to get another chance, one he had not deemed possible before. Sam was nervous, but he tried not to show it too obviously to not worry the blond any further. At the same time, however, he was very hopeful about this operation.

“I can’t believe this,” Lucifer said eventually, shaking his head. “He’s gonna get another chance…”

“And it’s a good one, the doctor told me,” Sam said quietly. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it will be alright and everything will go well.”

“I never thought he’d get this opportunity again,” Lucifer sighed. “Even if it’s only buying time, it’s more than I ever hoped for.”

“It’ll be more than buying time,” Sam replied, drawing Lucifer’s attention. “He’ll recover and go back to school and you’ll live a better life, I know that.”

“You really think so?” Lucifer asked and Sam nodded.

“I’m sure of it,” he said.

\-----

Raphael reacted excited at the news of another transplant, especially when he found out Sam would be the donor. He kept talking about how they would basically be brothers then and Sam and Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. A nurse came by later to put new sheets on the empty bed in Raphael’s room and even when the boy was told he wouldn’t get any food anymore until the operation he wasn’t bothered at all. When Lucifer told him he’d stay overnight too, Raphael was thrilled.

“We’ll have a sleepover!” he exclaimed laughing. “I always wanted a sleepover!”

The sleepover turned out to only last until nine in the evening, when Raphael fell asleep on his bed, but Sam was sure he still enjoyed it. Lucifer smiled at his brother, kissed his forehead and pulled the blanket up to his chin so he wouldn’t get cold. He had made some kind of improvised bed in the play area Gabe usually stayed in, assuring Raphael it was fine this way before he fell asleep. He and Sam kept their voices down after this to not wake him up again.

“You sure you’ll be able to sleep like this?” Sam asked, eyeing Lucifer’s bed suspiciously. “Doesn’t look comfortable.”

“It’ll do,” Lucifer shrugged. “You two got your beds and will sleep well, that’s important. I can sleep when this is all over.”

“You’re a really good brother,” Sam smiled warmly. “They are very lucky to have you.”

“So, you think a good brother lets one of them be taken away and one suffer like this?” Lucifer asked and sighed. “Doesn’t sound that good to me.”

“No, a good brother doesn’t stop fighting for them,” Sam assured him. “A bad one would just shrug and move on, but you don’t do that.”

“Maybe,” Lucifer replied quietly, not very persuading.

“Let me put it this way,” Sam tried again. “A bad brother wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice his own future just so his little brothers are happy and cared for. A bad brother would turn his back at them and just leave them behind for his own sake.”

“Sounds like what Michael did,” Lucifer said sadly. “But I would give everything I have for them, even my life.”

“And that makes you the good brother, not Michael.”

Lucifer looked up, meeting Sam’s eyes and catching the reassuring hint in them.

“Thank you, Sam,” Lucifer answered. “I don’t think anyone ever said such things to me.”

“It’s just the truth,” Sam shrugged, blushing a little. “Everyone would be happy to have someone who cares about them as much as you care about your brothers. Just because bad things happen doesn’t mean that changes.”

“I wish they had parents who cared for them as much as I do,” Lucifer sighed and looked at Raphael. “They deserve to be loved and if their parents can’t do that I’ll just love them more to make up for it.”

“You know, you might think you’re a tough guy,” Sam chuckled mischievously. “But you’re a big softie at heart.”

“The big softie can hit pretty damn hard if someone calls him a softie again,” Lucifer huffed and glared at Sam. “Don’t test your luck on me, punk.”

“Oh, I would never dare,” Sam laughed and raised his hands in defense. “Don’t wanna get my ass kicked by the big bad wolf.”

Lucifer growled dangerously at Sam and for a moment they were both silent before the laughter broke through. Sam couldn’t explain why, but he actually felt happy and much less nervous right now. Maybe he hated the soulmate thing, but Lucifer wasn’t so bad after all. Seeing this other side of him helped, so did the knowledge that he was just acting when he was out there, but that wasn’t all. There was something else, a certain type of understanding that he didn’t know until this point and he actually liked that.

“You should get some sleep now too,” Lucifer suggested after the laughter ebbed away slowly. “It’s a big day tomorrow, you don’t want to be exhausted.”

“Yeah, because they’ll keep me awake during the operation,” Sam grinned, causing Lucifer to laugh again. “But you’re probably right, I’m pretty tired.”

Sam laid down and Lucifer turned off the lights before doing the same in the very uncomfortable spot he was forced into. For what felt like an eternity Sam tried to fall asleep, but it just wouldn’t happen for some reason. He wasn’t scared of the next day or felt conflicted right now, he simply laid there and stared at the ceiling that was slightly illuminated through the windows as the minutes flew by.

“Lucifer?” Sam finally whispered after a very long time, not even expecting an answer. “Are you still awake?”

“Yeah?” The other sounded sleepy, but not as if Sam had just woken him up.

“Did you ever wonder why this soulmate thing even exists?” Sam had no idea why these words came out of his mouth in the first place, but once they were out he really felt the need for an answer.

“My theory is that God is a cruel asshole who loves to play with us,” Lucifer scoffed.

“That might be a reason,” Sam chuckled.

“Actually that’s just me being bitter,” Lucifer said and Sam swore he heard a smirk in his voice. “I don’t know why it exists, but it does and we have to live with it. Sometimes it makes people happy, sometimes it doesn’t, we won’t know before it happens to us, sadly.”

“Yeah, it can be pretty fucked up,” Sam sighed, thinking about his parents. “I don't wanna end up broken about something I never had a say in…”

“Oh, you do have a say in it,” Lucifer rejected. “You fight it, most people don't. And I can assure you I'm a rather durable asshole, I'm not gonna die anytime soon, don’t worry.”

Sam smirked into the darkness. He wondered if his mom thought like this too before she got killed, but as soon as the thought creeped up he tried to push it back down. No, this was different, he couldn't compare these situations. It was nice knowing that Lucifer wanted to make him feel better about it though.

“Maybe we can become friends one day,” Sam eventually said quietly. It was probably the hardest thing he ever forced out of his mouth. “I mean, when this is over and you want to. It's fine if not, but I wouldn't mind.”

“Me neither,” Lucifer replied just the same. “I told you I can't afford this to take over my life, but a friend doesn't sound like a bad thing. And now get some sleep, it's late.”

“Yeah, I'll try,” Sam smiled. “Goodnight, Lucifer.”

“Goodnight, Sam.”


	9. Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A successful operation and good prognoses for his own and Raphael's recovery made Sam believe this would finally be the turnpoint for their bad luck. However, he's quickly realizing they still have a long way to go when Lucifer calls him in the middle of the night, asking for shelter.

The next day, everything went much faster than Sam had expected. At eight, a nurse came into their room and explained the procedure - Sam and Raphael would be operated at the same time, but doctor Francis would take over Raphael as soon as the kidney was ready to transplant and Sam would be done a bit sooner. The two boys nodded in agreement and smiled at each other. They came to pick them both up about ten minutes later and Sam saw how damn nervous Lucifer was. Sam assured him again that everything would be alright before he was rolled out too and Lucifer nodded weakly in return.

The anaesthetist showed up quickly, explaining to Sam that he would be asleep in a bit and that the doctor would take good care of him, but he wasn’t very worried. He had talked a lot with doctor Francis and the man seemed to be very good at his job; Sam trusted him with this. All he asked for was that they’d do their best and the anaesthetist promised him that they would. Sam thought the injection of the anaesthetic was the worst, after that it only took a few minutes before his eyes began to feel heavy and he slowly drifted away into a dreamless, deep slumber.

When Sam began to regain his consciousness around three hours later, it was a slow process and it felt strange because he knew he was conscious again, but he still couldn’t give any sign that he actually was. There was a certain pressure at his left hand, as if someone was holding and squeezing it frequently, but he didn’t know who it was. He liked the feeling, however. It was kind of reassuring and helped him wake up sooner, even if it sounded weird. It took another twenty minutes before Sam finally managed to open his eyes completely, which was a huge effort and he immediately realized that he felt very weak and worn out. Still, he had never been more relieved to wake up.

“Sam!” a familiar voice sounded and not even a second later Lucifer’s face appeared and the pressure at his hand came back. “Finally, you’re awake! I was starting to worry.”

“I lived, bitch…” Sam croaked weakly and with a cracking voice. Despite that, Lucifer smiled.

“Yeah, you sure do,” he chuckled.

Lucifer sat down next to the bed and gave Sam the time to properly wake up, even though it was still more of a half-awake, half-asleep state he remained in for a while. Sam didn’t notice that, however. He was content for the moment, that was what mattered.

“The nurse said everything went well,” Lucifer smiled at Sam at one point, squeezing his hand again. “Raphael will be done soon too. It’ll be okay, like you said.”

“Of course it’ll be,” Sam smiled silly and patted Lucifer’s hand with his free one. “You should listen to me, you know? I know what I’m talking about.”

“Apparently,” Lucifer replied with a smirk. “How do you feel?”

“Funny,” Sam said and chuckled. “It tickles… you know, down there.” He jerked his head a bit, signing into the direction of his hips. “Feels a bit empty too, but that’s fine.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay again soon,” Lucifer assured him. “You did something amazing today, Sam. I can’t tell you how happy I am about your decision.”

“Oh please,” Sam waved his hand weakly. “If it were the other way around I’m sure you would’ve done the same. He’ll be okay, right? That’s all that matters.”

“You’re truly a number,” Lucifer said and patted Sam’s hand gently. “You gave Raph another chance, I can’t thank you enough for that.”

“Forget it,” Sam grinned. “He deserves it.”

Before Lucifer could answer the door to the recovery room opened and two nurses brought in the second patient. Lucifer gave Sam a quick glance, who nodded in return and then quickly rushed to Raphael’s side.

“Did everything go well?” he immediately asked, taking one of his hands.

“Yes,” the nurse, Karen, replied with a bright smile. “Doctor Francis will come here in a few minutes to talk to you, but everything went perfectly fine. He’ll be better soon.”

Lucifer’s relief couldn’t have been more visible when the nurses left. Sam knew he wasn’t fully conscious yet, but even he could see that. And while he looked at Lucifer, he felt a strange and new warmth crawl up in his chest. He didn’t know where it came from, but he figured it came from the happiness he felt about Raphael’s successful surgery. The two were silent until the doctor finally came, Sam focused on looking at the brothers and Lucifer on paying attention to Raphael.

“The surgery was a great success!” Doctor Francis exclaimed as he walked in.

“So, they’ll be alright?” Lucifer asked and doctor Francis nodded.

“We are very positive about that. Raphael will wake up soon, when he does we will have to go through some tests again, but the kidney already began to work after we transplanted it, so we’re very optimistic.”

“That didn’t happen before,” Lucifer said quietly and looked at his brother.

“Yes and it’s a good sign. It means his body accepts the new kidney so far.”

“Doctor,” Sam said, drawing the man’s attention at him. “Will he be able to leave again soon?”

“He’ll have to stay here for a while longer, but if everything goes well he’ll be able to leave within a month.”

“Awesome.” Sam smiled and laid back down on the pillow.

“Thank you, doctor!” Lucifer said and jumped up, taking the man’s hand. “You saved my brother’s life, I can’t thank you enough!”

“It was my pleasure,” doctor Francis smiled and grabbed Lucifer’s hand tightly. “Now, let’s wait for him to recover, so you all can go back to your normal life, shall we?.”

Lucifer nodded and Sam smiled over in his bed.

The following week, the two boys stayed in the same room. Raphael had to undergo several tests for the first few days, but he never complained and always assured Sam that he felt much better than after his last transplant - Sam only had to be examined every few days, to make sure the stitches were healing well. Lucifer was there almost the entire time, which obviously helped both boys to feel better.

During this week, Sam unconsciously began to enjoy Lucifer’s presence. Not in an emotional way, but in a physical one. He was used to having the blond around at least once a day, but being in the same room for so long and talking and interacting as much as they did kind of made it almost normal that he was there. He couldn’t explain it any better, but Lucifer kind of grew on him. When the doctor told Sam that he was free to leave, he was actually a little sad.

“Cheer up, buttercup,” Lucifer grinned when the doctor had left. “You can come visit us whenever you want.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna do that,” Sam smiled. Raphael was reading a book at the moment, so he used the opportunity to do something he wanted to for a while already. “Hey, Lucifer, can we talk alone for a moment?”

“Sure?” Lucifer replied a little confused. “I’ll be right back, Raph.”

“Take your time,” Raphael mumbled, almost whispering, completely drawn into the world in his hands.

After Lucifer had closed the door behind them, Sam decided to not sugar coat anything and get to the point right away.

“You can’t live like this any longer,” he said seriously, earning an even more confused glance.

“What do you mean?”

“You live around half an hour away from here, with a taxi, don’t you?” Sam asked. “You keep going back home and come here every day, that must be draining. And you keep going back to your dad, that’s bad too.”

“If you have a better solution just tell me,” Lucifer huffed. “I can’t afford to stay here every night.”

“Of course I have one, just sleep at my dorm room,” Sam suggested. “I have no roommate, so why not? It’s only twenty minutes away if you walk, it’s much closer.”

“Are you asking me to live with you?” Lucifer asked and raised a brow. “Are you drunk?”

“I’m just being rational, Lucifer,” Sam sighed. “I have the space and I need to go back anyways, so why not? There’s a spare bed, you won’t have to see your dad and we can get back to campus in the evening together. I don’t see a problem, really.”

“Sam, seriously..:” Lucifer stopped himself from continuing, shook his head and tried again. “Look, I’m flattered you suggest this, but don’t you think that’s taking it a bit too far? Won’t you get into trouble?”

“Not really,” Sam shrugged. “I can have a guest for up to five days and really, they don’t give a shit. I didn’t get a roommate for months and if they do pair me up with one we’ll find another solution. I’m not asking you to jump your bones, okay? I just wanna help you out to see your brother more easily.”

“Well, thanks,” Lucifer smirked and scratched his neck. “I have to admit it sucks going back home since dad is there again. I’d love some nights without his bullshit, really.”

“Then why not?” Sam asked. “You can leave whenever you want, no problem. And I’m not gonna party, I can assure you that.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” Lucifer laughed. “So, you really mean it, yeah?”

“Sure,” Sam shrugged. “I don’t mind a roommate that knows how to behave, if you won’t bring girls to the room every night or smoke pot we’re good.”

“Yeah, none of that, really, ” Lucifer grinned. “I prefer my silence.”

“Just think about it then, okay?” Sam suggested. “Might take some stress away after all.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Lucifer smiled. “I’ll think about it, promised.”

“That’s all I ask for.”

Sam knew his offer was weird and very surprising, but he had no ulterior motives when suggesting this. Talking with Lucifer throughout the last week made it clear that the blond hated going back to his dad every night - if Sam had the chance to change that, why not take it? 

“Just tell me if you wanna come over, okay?” Sam asked, smiling. “You got my number, just call and I’ll get your bed ready.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Lucifer smiled back. “I really appreciate it.”

Sam nodded, satisfied for the moment with Lucifer’s answer. He didn’t expect Lucifer to agree right away of course, but he knew the other didn’t want to go back to his dad again and again, it was very obvious. If Lucifer wanted to take his offer, he’d let him know.

Since he was allowed to leave and really had to catch back up with school, Sam said goodbye to the brothers in the evening. It was Thursday by now and it was of no use to go back to class for one day, so Sam decided to use the day he had and the upcoming weekend to take care of the most important things. When he left he wasn’t sure if Lucifer would accept his offer or not - he was still very hesitant about it - but Sam assured him again that it would be fine if he’d call any time he wanted to. He promised Raphael to be back on Friday or Saturday, depending on the work he had to do, and left when the sun began to set.

Coming back rather late meant Sam walked through empty corridors, but it was nothing he minded at all. It was actually very relieving to not answer any questions or be held back by someone wanting to chat. When he finally arrived at his room he didn’t feel like catching up with his work though, so he laid down and almost immediately fell asleep. The hospital bed had been fine, but sleeping in his own bed was a whole different thing and Sam didn’t realize how much he had missed it until he pulled the blanket up and closed his eyes.

Sam was ripped forcefully out of his peaceful slumber, however, when his phone suddenly rang. He didn’t bother checking the time before taking the call, didn’t even wake up properly, until he heard the voice at the other end.

“Sam? Were you serious with your offer?”

Sam blinked and sat up in his bed, finally glancing over at his clock that revealed it was shortly after two in the morning. He quickly shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied.

“Well, I might have to take you up on that.”

“Okay, yeah, just come over whenever.” Sam was surprised, but he wasn’t going to back out on his offer. “I’ll get everything ready and-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lucifer interrupted him and only now Sam realized how heavy his voice sounded. “Can you come outside? I’m already here.”

“Shit, really?” Sam jumped out of bed almost right away. “Okay, gimme a minute to get dressed, alright? Where are you? I’m gonna pick you up.”

“Right in front of the dorm door, sorry for waking you up.”

“Oh forget it, I’ll be there in a minute!”

It turned out to be five minutes instead, but Sam hurried the best he could. He even went out of his room bare-chested and only slipped into his shirt on the way downstairs. The call was surprising enough, but the tone of the other’s voice was more worrying than the time he called, and when Sam opened the door and his eyes fell on a rain-drenched Lucifer he knew that this was more of an emergency than he thought at first. Not only was the blond soaked from head to toes, but his face showed that he had a pretty rough time before, as once again a black eye began to form and his left cheek was decorated with a huge cut. Sam also spotted strange markings on Lucifer’s neck and throat, which looked even worse to him.

“Lucifer, my God!” Sam grabbed Lucifer’s arm and pulled him inside as fast as he could and closed the doors behind them. “What on earth happened to you?”

“I guess it was a bad idea  to ask my drunk-ass dad if he planned to shut up anytime soon because I wanted to sleep,” Lucifer grinned and Sam had never wanted to punch him more in his life. Instead, he shook his head and pulled Lucifer inside and into the direction of his room.

“You’ve got a death wish, seriously,” Sam said on the way, unable to stop shaking his head. “Why do you even provoke him? You know he won’t hesitate to use his fists!”

“Because he’s a bastard that deserves it?”

“And you deserve this or what?”

Lucifer merely shrugged as an answer, which Sam took as a sign that he didn’t want to talk about this any longer. Luckily they didn’t meet anyone on their way, so when they finally arrived at Sam’s room no one noticed the breaking of the house rules - which clearly stated no overnight guests - and he could lock the door in peace.

“Just look at you,” Sam eventually sighed when they were safe inside. “Now I have to patch you up again and you’ll surely scare Raphael tomorrow!”

“Sorry for causing you so much trouble,” Lucifer said, to which Sam had no reply. He wanted to be mad, really, but after everything they’ve been through he just couldn’t. Apparently Lucifer’s bad behavior had grown on him as much as the good part, not something he had expected but there was nothing to do about it now. 

After patching Lucifer up the best he could and making the bed ready for him it was already past three, but Sam didn’t mind much. Lucifer kept assuring him that it was nothing and that he wouldn’t stay long, but to be honest the brunet prepared for the opposite. Because showing up at two in the morning on his doorstep, with nothing more than the things he wore and a black eye? That wasn’t what he called nothing.

“You’ll stay here as long as you have to,” Sam said sternly as he finished off the bed. “If you think I’ll let you go back to that man you are dead wrong.”

“Did you suddenly become my legal guardian?” Lucifer asked with a chuckle, to which Sam gave him a stern glare.

“Do you wanna test me?” he asked, raising a brow. “Or do you wanna go back to that man and take a few more blows?”

“Nope, I’m fine staying here,” Lucifer quickly said and shook his head. “I’m very glad you didn’t just hang up on me, really.”

“I’d never do that,” Sam sighed and sat down on his bed, while Lucifer did the same with the newly made one. “I offered you to stay here after all.”

“I bet you didn’t think I’d take your offer at such an inhumane time, huh?”

“Not really,” Sam said and yawned behind his hand. “But I didn’t think I would be so okay with it either, so I guess it’s alright.”

“I promise I won’t bother you much,” Lucifer said seriously. “I’ll be with Raphael most of the time, you’ll barely see me.”

“I don’t mind seeing you, really,” Sam shrugged. “I kinda got used to your presence. As long as you don’t snore or wake me up at five in the morning we’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try to keep the snoring to a minimum,” Lucifer smirked and made himself comfortable on the second bed. “But I can say that I got used to your presence too. You’re not half as bad as I thought you were.”

“Thanks,” Sam laughed and laid back down. “You’re not either. And now, let’s try to get a few hours of sleep, okay?”

Lucifer nodded and Sam took that as a sign to turn off the lights. He had said the truth when he told Lucifer he didn’t mind, but he was still very tired, there was no denying that, and Lucifer seemed to be in desperate need of some sleep himself. It didn’t feel strange that they were sleeping in the same room again, even though this time they were alone. He had gotten kind of used to having Lucifer around and even now in this unfamiliar situation it was alright with Sam. Of course it was clear that they would need to talk, but that could wait until the next morning.


	10. Change Of Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a very eventful night, Sam and Lucifer have a serious talk and Lucifer reveals the full disgusting truth about why he showed up at Sam's door the way he did. There's no doubt about what Sam has to do now and even though Lucifer doesn't fully understand yet, he has made up his mind about the future. And, surprisingly for both of them, Lucifer played a big part in it.

When Sam woke up it was shortly before nine and Lucifer was still sound asleep, so he decided to go out and fetch some breakfast quickly. He carefully locked the door just in case - after leaving a note for Lucifer that he would be back in a few minutes in case he woke up - and made his way outside. Sam came back fifteen minutes later with coffee, bagels and some croissants and when he slipped into his room he immediately saw that Lucifer was awake.

“Hey there,” Sam grinned and put the breakfast and coffee down on his table. “Managed to get some rest?”

“As much as possible, yeah,” Lucifer mumbled and let out a big yawn. He still looked half asleep, but Sam hoped the extra strong coffee he got would help with that soon.

“I got us breakfast,” the brunet announced as he slid out of his jacket and kicked his boots into a corner. “Thought you might need something today.”

“I sure do, thanks.” Lucifer cracked a weak smile when he pushed himself off the bed and walked over to grab a coffee and a bagel. Sam followed his example once his guest had sat back down and they spent a few minutes in silence while eating and sipping on their coffees every now and then.

Every once in a while, Sam glanced over at Lucifer, but not a single time he caught the others eyes in any way. Sam wondered if there was something the blond didn’t tell him the night before because he wasn’t used to this kind of behavior from Lucifer anymore. Sure, in the beginning they had acted this distant and cold towards each other, but Sam had assumed that was over by now. Eventually, when he realized Lucifer wouldn’t be the one initiating a conversation again, Sam opened his mouth.

“How do you feel today?” he asked, the worried undertone in his voice clearly audible. “Does it still hurt?”

“Barely,” Lucifer smirked and, finally, turned his head towards Sam. “I’m probably not the prettiest view right now, but the pain isn’t that bad at least.”

“You look better than I thought you would,” Sam smirked back just the same. “I don’t think Raphael will be scared to see you.”

“Yeah, I hope so…” Lucifer’s voice drifted away and Sam noticed that he was absently brushing his fingers over the markings on his neck. He was about to ask about them when Lucifer spoke again, this time with a voice so much darker than he ever deemed possible. “I thought he’d kill me for real this time…”

“K...kill you?” Sam swallowed and looked at Lucifer dumbfounded. “You mean… your dad?”

“He went completely nuts,” Lucifer huffed and clawed the hand on his neck, nails digging into the bruised skin. “I’ve never seen him snap like that. He was an ass the whole evening already, nagging and complaining and yelling, but I’m used to that. I got the black eye when I walked past him, out of the blue, without provoking him. And when I yelled because I wanted to sleep and he kept being a loud ass he just went off like a bomb.”

Sam wanted to say something, anything really, but he was rendered speechless by both Lucifer’s words and the way his voice sounded. He had never heard the other talk like this and it made goosebumps appear all over his arms and neck.

“I was able to defend myself for a while, but I guess when you’re that drunk it doesn’t matter how often you get punched in the face. When I pushed him away and turned around to go back to my room I felt something pull me back and couldn’t breathe anymore. Can you believe that this fucker tried to strangle me?”

“He… he strangled you?” Sam whispered quietly and Lucifer nodded.

“He has this stupid belt that he likes to use on my back, I got quite some scars from it already, but last night he found a new use for it. He pulled me around and looked at me while tightening it more and more... I was close to passing out when I somehow managed to kick him in the balls and he finally let go. I didn’t bother checking on him, I just ran out of there as fast as I could.”

“So that’s why your neck looks so awful,” Sam mumbled. Lucifer touched the reddened and bruised skin again with the most heartbreaking look in his eyes.

“He didn’t care for what he did, not even a bit,” Lucifer said, his lips jerking slightly. His voice changed and became even heavier and Sam saw that his eyes began to shimmer suspiciously. “I’ve never seen so much hate in someone’s eyes, Sam. It wasn’t the anger I’m used to, this was pure hatred and he wouldn’t have stopped if I didn’t force him to. He was ready to kill me, even when I begged him to stop. I didn’t know what fear was until last night, really...”

“Lucifer…” Sam’s chest felt heavy and tight. He wished there was something he could have said to make it better somehow, but he knew there were no words to do that. Instead, Sam walked over to where Lucifer sat and dropped down between his legs, taking one of the other’s hands. “I’m so sorry…” he whispered and leaned his head against the hand he was holding..

For a long moment Lucifer stayed still, like a statue and similarly cold. Then his hand gripped Sam’s tight and he rested his own head against the brunet’s, burying his face in Sam’s hair and his free hand on his back, grabbing his shirt. Sam didn’t know how long they stayed like this, how long Lucifer was trembling from trying to get a hold of himself. It felt like an eternity and slowly, without any of them realizing it, they moved closer together until they hugged each other as tight as humanly possible. Again Lucifer hid his face, this time against Sam’s shoulder, and the brunet simply let him and held him the best he could while kneeling between his legs.

“I’m gonna help you through this, I promise,” Sam said after a minute of holding Lucifer like this, to which the other’s fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt again. He could feel Lucifer shake and his shoulder become wet, but he didn’t mind and simply ran a hand through Lucifer’s blond hair to keep him close. “I don’t know how, but I won’t let this man get close to you ever again.”

When Lucifer finally calmed down enough to break out of this desperate embrace, his eyes were reddened and his face burning hot. He did his best to wipe the tears away, his hands still shaking so much that it was painful for Sam to watch. Eventually, Sam pushed Lucifer’s hand away gently and finished the job for him.

“You must think I’m a sissy, given how often I break down and cry in front of you,” Lucifer huffed and evaded Sam’s eyes. The brunet shook his head.

“I don’t think you’re a weak or anything like that at all,” he said, running his hand through Lucifer’s hair once more before dropping it and sitting back down on his legs. “I think you carry a lot around with you, but you’re not a sissy. I don’t know anyone else who could go through so much and still keep going.”

“And now I’m dragging you into this as well,” Lucifer sighed and shook his head slowly. “I demand so much of you despite knowing you so shortly.”

“So?” Sam asked, looking up at Lucifer from the floor, still holding his hands. “I told you already, it’s my decision and you don’t demand anything from me. I want to help you and I’ll do all I can to do that.”

“Sam…” Lucifer took a deep breath and finally looked back at the brunet. “You don’t realize how much of a mess my life truly is, do you?”

“Maybe it’s a mess,” Sam smiled warmly. “But I’ve grown up with messes, I’m not going anywhere if you don’t want me to. Just swallow your pride and let me help you, okay? If not for yourself, then for your brothers. Or do you want them to go back there?”

“No!” Lucifer almost shouted with wide eyes, startling Sam so much that he would have fallen backwards if it wasn’t for them holding hands. It took the blond a moment to collect himself again. After he shook his head his voice was quiet again, but not less determined. “I can’t let them go back… I just can’t...”

“Then we’ll find a way so they won’t have to, together.” Sam knew it was the right decision, even if it would change everything for him too. “I wanted to use this weekend to study, but screw that. You’ll put on a happy face now and go visit your brother and let me do what I have to do, deal?”

“Sam… I... “ Lucifer swallowed and looked up for a moment, as if to force his nerves to comply. “I don’t know what to say, I mean it. I don’t even know what you could possibly do…”

“Just let me pull a few strings,” Sam said seriously. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you, I mean it,” Lucifer replied weakly, tilting his head to the side a little. “I underestimated you a lot when we first met, you aren’t as annoying and bothersome as I thought you were. Or as weak for that matter.”

“And you’re much less homicidal and dangerous than I thought you were,” Sam smiled and not even a moment later they both laughed. It was way too loud and way too awkward, but Sam felt that they needed this right now and even if he would have wanted, he didn’t think he could have stopped. This was one thing he had learned from the very beginning: sometimes laughing was the only thing that helped, no matter how inappropriate it was or how awkward it felt.

After the two boys finally stopped laughing and managed to get up, Sam gathered some of his clothes so Lucifer could change into something that wasn’t bloody and dirty for his hospital visit. The blond looked unfamiliar with a plaid shirt and slightly too tight jeans - Sam had never seen him without one of his band t-shirts or the leather jacket, now that he thought of it - but he had to admit that it suited him. Sam apologized for the unfitting clothes, but Lucifer just waved his hand at him.

“Better than having blood on me, you were right,” he said with a chuckle. “And besides, these kinda smell like you. I like that.”

“What!?” Sam blushed furiously and spun around, staring at Lucifer in disbelief.

“Beautiful,” Lucifer laughed and patted Sam’s shoulder friendly. “I’m just joking, don’t worry. But you should have seen your face, it was definitely worth it.”

“Don’t pull shit like that on me,” Sam scoffed and shrugged Lucifer’s hand off. He tried his best to ignore the fact that something in his chest was pumping rapidly and wouldn’t slow down. “That’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucifer said seriously. “It won’t happen again, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Sam huffed. “This isn’t about that, not at all. We’re just friends and I’m helping you out as a friend, nothing else.”

“I know and I’m very thankful for that, trust me.” Lucifer’s voice lost the cheerful undertone and Sam’s heart slowly calmed down a bit. “I’ll go see Raph now, thanks for borrowing me these.”

“No problem,” Sam said and forced himself to smile. “Give him a hug from me, will you?”

“I’ll give him two,” Lucifer winked and with that walked out of the room, leaving Sam and his whirlwind of confusing thoughts alone.


	11. Help From An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam knows it's a long shot, but he really wants to help Lucifer and his brothers, so he contacts an old friend of his dad. Bobby, whom he has not seen in years but has fond memories off, turns out to be a true life savior and with his help, Sam actually begins to think everything will turn out to be good in the end.

It took Sam a few minutes after Lucifer had left to fully compose himself and his thoughts, but eventually he managed to focus back on what he wanted to do. There was a lot he had to tackle and even though he wasn’t sure about succeeding, he wanted to give it a try at least. After all, they were friends by now - probably more but Sam was still very much in denial about that - and seeing a friend suffer like this was enough reason to try and help him. Soulmates or not, he wasn’t going to let Lucifer go back to that human trash that called himself his father, no way.

First, Sam went to see Ellen, the school counselor, again to talk about his current living situation. As it turned out the fact that he usually had no roommate was very helpful. Ellen assured him that Lucifer could stay for up to four weeks, because he was a student himself. After that he had to look for a different place to stay, but Sam hoped that there wouldn’t be a need for that by this time anymore. He thanked her and told her he’d attend classes again the next week, before going back to his room for the next thing on his list: call his brother.

Dean was surprised that Sam called him this early, but more than that he was very happy and relieved. He monologued for a while about how Sam had to take it easy for a while and look after himself and the younger brother listened to everything patiently before finally asking the question he desperately wanted to ask.

“You don’t happen to still have Bobby’s number, do you?” Bobby was an old friend of their dad, the only one that was actually reliable and nice, and Sam remembered that he had lived in Stanford a few years ago.

“Bobby? Why do you want Bobby’s number?” Dean asked suspicious and Sam could almost hear his brother raise a brow at him.

“It’s a long story. To keep it short: I need to talk to him about something important. Nothing to worry about, really.”

“Wanna pay the old man a visit, huh?” Dean laughed, making Sam smirk slightly. “You’re lucky, I still have his number, but I don’t know if it’s still active.”

“Just give it to me, I’ll find out soon enough.”

Sam quickly wrote down the number Dean gave him after a few minutes of searching and thanked his brother. He promised to call back soon, but right now he was too focused on trying to reach Bobby to chat any longer - he didn’t say that of course, just that he was busy.

After Sam dialed the number Dean gave him he felt a stone drop in his stomach when an electronic voice told him that it was unavailable. He already saw all his hopes vanish while checking the number again, only to realize he had switched two digits in his haste and anticipation. Relieved, he dialed the right number and this time it actually rang.

“Singer Auto Salvage,” a grumpy voice answered the phone and Sam sank back onto his bed feeling ten pounds lighter already. “How can I help you?”

“Bobby? It’s me, Sam. Remember me?”

“Sam?” Bobby asked surprised, but not without a hint of recognition in his voice. “John Winchester’s boy?”

“The one and only,” Sam grinned. “Okay, not the only one, but yeah, that Sam.”

“Now that’s what I call a surprise!” Bobby said and laughed deep and rough. “What gives me the honor, boy?”

“I’m in a little dilemma right now and wondered if you might be able to help me out,” Sam said and bit his lip. “Are you still in Stanford?”

“Never left the place after coming here,” Bobby huffed with a hint of pride. “What dilemma are we talking about? Car broke down, drugs, police?”

“No no no!” Sam quickly said and sat back up. “None of that, really! It’s more of a… living situation… I guess?”

“Alright boy, stop dancing around the fire and spit it out.”

And so Sam did. He told Bobby as much as he had to without digging into the soulmate thing too much, just telling him that Lucifer was a very good friend and about the horrible conditions he lived under. He felt stupid for taking so much time to explain, but it was a long story and Bobby was the only one who might be able to help him at the moment. After he was done the phone was silent for almost a minute before he finally heard a deep and long sigh at the other end.

“Oh boy, you really know how to get yourself into trouble, don’t you?”

“You know who my brother is, do you really have to ask?”

“Don’t get me started on that one,” Bobby growled. “He  _ would  _ have called because he sat in jail.”

“Probably, yeah,” Sam laughed. “So, can you help me out somehow? I don’t really know who else to ask…”

“You’re lucky, boy,” Bobby said, raising Sam’s hope for the first time that day. “You remember the house I lived in when you visited me with your dad as a kid?”

“The one you sold when you bought your salvage yard?” Sam asked surprised.

“That one, but I never sold it. It’s still mine, it’s just been empty for a few years. You can have it if you want to, but there’s a few things that need to be done. It’s not in the best shape anymore, but better than nothing.”

“Really?” Sam couldn’t believe it. “Bobby, you’re saving my ass, thank you!”

“Don’t thank me yet, as I said, there’s some things to do. The stairs need to be repaired and the electricity is a bitch, but if you wanna take it, I’ll help you with that.”

“I don’t know what to say, that’s awesome! Where is it? I can’t remember anymore. Is it far from college? Can I take a look at it?”

“Whoa, slow down, boy,” Bobby laughed. “It’s about half an hour away if you walk,I can show it to you today if you want to, the yard is closed anyways. How about we meet there in an hour? I need to find the keys first, haven’t been there in a while.”

“Of course, yes! Can you give me the address? I’ll be there!”

“Eager as always,” Bobby laughed and Sam joined in immediately. “Get some paper, I’ll tell you where to go.”

Sam already had that luckily, so he quickly wrote down the address and thanked Bobby again before hanging up. He didn’t dare to be too excited yet, after all the house could be a huge mess, but this was more than he had hoped for. He debated for a moment whether he should tell Lucifer already or not, but given this concerned him too he decided to go for it. When he broke the news to him, Lucifer was very confused.

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“Okay, sorry, I’m not making sense, I know.” Sam scratched his head and took a deep breath. “I talked to a family friend, Bobby, who lives here too. He owns a house that he used to live in a few years ago, as far as I remember it’s rather big too. He said he can show me today but there will be a few things that need to be done. But I can have it, he said.”

“Wow, that’s… wow…”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, it won’t be perfect, but I wanted to ask if you wanna come and take a look at it with us? Maybe this could be a way out. It’s half an hour away from campus, so not that far, what do you say?”

“I can’t say no, can I?” Lucifer asked and Sam heard him chuckle. “Alright, give me the address and I’ll come over. Afterwards you can come with me and visit Raph, he’s asking for you already.”

“Of course, yes!” Sam agreed excited and gave Lucifer the address. “See you in an hour, okay?”

“I’ll be there. And do me a favor; don’t wet your pants yet. From all you know it could be a disaster.”

“Yeah, but a disaster is still better than being homeless, right? See you later!”

Sam hung up and finally allowed himself to breathe again. If this would turn out to be a place they could stay in, things might turn out good somehow. He wasn’t sure how bad the state of the house truly was, Lucifer was right with that, but he knew Bobby and how good he was when it came to repairing things - with his help they’d be able to manage.

Waiting was almost like torture, so in the end, Sam called a taxi after just half an hour and arrived at the house fifteen minutes early. This, however, gave him the time to take a look at it from the outside already. It wasn’t as bad as he had expected. One of the window blinds was hanging off, a window was cracked and it desperately needed a paint job, but overall it seemed to be in a rather solid condition. Sam also noticed that there was apparently a yard in the back of the house that he didn’t remember, which looked like a little jungle from all the neglect, but definitely had a certain charm to it. He was still leaning over the small iron gate that led into it when he suddenly felt a strong grip on his shoulder and nearly jumped out of his skin as he spun around.

“Bobby!” Sam yelped at the sight of the man in front of him - visibly older than he remembered him but recognizable right away with his worn trademark basecap and the beard that covered half his face. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“You’ve grown quite a bit,” Bobby said and Sam saw a smile under his beard. “Last time I saw you you barely reached my head when jumping.”

“It’s been a while, yeah,” Sam laughed awkwardly and the next second he was pulled into a big hug that nearly pushed the air out of his lungs.

“Good to see you again, boy,” Bobby said and patted Sam’s back roughly. “Good to see you again.”

“Same here, Bobby,” Sam gasped and returned the gesture weakly. “It’s been way too long.”

“So, wanna take a look inside?”

“In a minute, my friend comes over too, is that alright?” Sam asked a bit embarrassed. “I thought he might wanna see it himself, you know.”

“No problem, we have time after all,” Bobby smiled. “What do you think so far?”

“Looks good,” Sam smiled back and turned towards the house again, bracing his hips. “I expected worse to be honest, but it looks almost like all those years ago.”

“You know I take good care of my belongings,” Bobby laughed, crossing his arms. “I would have stayed here but the Salvage Yard was too good of a deal to pass on it. Still come here from time to time to dwell in memories.”

“You sure loved this place, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” Bobby nodded slowly. “Karen fell in love with it when she first saw it and there was no way I couldn’t have bought it. I tried to keep it all in good shape after she died, that was the least I could do for her.”

“You did a great job, Bobby,” Sam said and laid a hand on the older man’s shoulder in sympathy. “We’ll take good care of it, I promise.”

“I know you will. You’ve always been the responsible one in your family, even as a kid. I trust you with this.”

Sam smiled when he heard a car drive up to them, making the two turn around. A minute passed before the passenger’s door open and Lucifer stepped out, which made Sam’s smile widen a bit as the other walked over to them.

“Lucifer, finally! This is my old friend Bobby,” Sam introduced the two. “Bobby, this is Lucifer, the friend I told you about.”

Lucifer held out his hand and shook Bobby’s, both eyeing each other extensively.

“Pleasure to meet you;” Lucifer smiled, to which Bobby nodded slowly.

“Same here, son. Now that everyone’s here, how about we take a look inside?”

The old man let go of Lucifer’s hand and fetched a bundle of keys from his pocket while the two boys walked up behind him. Lucifer gave Sam a weird and amused smile, to which Sam had a hard time suppressing the urge to laugh.

Bobby made sure to show the boys every inch of the house, from the basement to the attic it took around an hour to see everything. The stairway needed a new rail and had a few broken steps, the electricity did act up from time to time as Bobby had told Sam and one of the toilets didn’t work, but other than that all the house really needed was a good clean up and some new paint. Sam was surprised how big the house actually was, with four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a big living room and a big kitchen with a dining area it was the perfect size for their needs. And the garden, even though wild and untamed right now, was a great addition to the whole place.

“What do you think? A bit of work and it should be as good as new,” Bobby said after they walked back out.

“It’s a great house indeed,” Lucifer agreed and looked up at the building. “And you really want to offer it to us?”

“Of course,” Bobby nodded. “It’s a shame no one is living here anymore and I’d be glad to know it in good hands.”

“It will be, promised!” Sam assured him immediately. “I’m sure Raph will love it too, not to talk about Gabriel.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure they would love it,” Lucifer smiled. “I’m out of words, really. I can’t thank you enough for your offer, I promise you we will take good care of it.”

“You better,” Bobby laughed and eyed Lucifer closely again. “I’ll know where you live, remember that.”

At that, all three of them laughed and Sam hadn't felt this content in a very long time. Yes, maybe things would turn out good after all. He really hoped so at least.


	12. Domestic Bliss? - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months have passed and Sam, Lucifer and Raphael have settled down in their new home together. There's only one thing left to worry about: Gabriel. Lucifer is nervous and excited all the same when he finally gets to see his youngest brother again, but there are still a few obstacles in the way of happiness. Sam is glad that he can be by Lucifer's side through this, even if he never expected things to turn out this way.

“Lucifer, are you coming?” Sam shouted out of the kitchen window. Lucifer was chasing Raphael through the garden for almost an hour now and it was getting dark already.

When the two brothers came back through the terrace door, laughing and dirty as pigs, Sam couldn't help but chuckle. He ruffled Raphael's hair and told him to go take a bath before bed, while Lucifer got himself a coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. Sam followed suit, smiling at the huge grin on the blond’s face.

“He recovered pretty fast, didn't he?” Sam asked and Lucifer nodded.

“He did, yeah. He couldn't wait to get out of the hospital,” Lucifer smiled. “I can't blame him, he's been there for far too long.”

“And you? Ready for the big day tomorrow?”

“Ready?” Lucifer laughed and took a big sip from his mug. “Nervous as hell doesn't even scratch it.”

“It's gonna be okay, I know it,” Sam assured him. “You’ve gone through all the formalities, they've talked to you, everything else will come easy. It’s a good place for kids, they’ll see that too.”

Lucifer smiled weakly, but Sam knew his nervousness wouldn't be gone that easily. Over the last two months they had spent every day working on the house with Bobby, Lucifer whenever he could during the week, as he still visited Raphael at the hospital, and Sam helping him out on the weekends and in the evening.. They had fixed the windows and staircase, cleaned the whole place thoroughly and painted every wall inside and out. Bobby even surprised them one day by revealing something he had built when they took a weekend off: a small playground in the yard, including a set of swings, a slide and a tower with various climbing opportunities. Sam and Lucifer had no idea he was working on something like that and were equally stunned and surprised.

With Bobby's help they had turned the slowly decaying house into a nicely looking and comfortable place to live at. Each of them had their own bedroom, the other two were reserved for Lucifer's brothers. Bobby even helped them clean out the attic and install a new ladder, so they were able to use it for storage in the future. They didn't even have to pay any rent, Bobby's only condition was that they took good care of the house and that was something they gladly agreed on. 

And now, after countless of appointments with the CPS and the family Gabriel had lived with for the last months, Lucifer would finally be reunited with his youngest brother. Raphael was already living with them for two weeks now and enjoyed it greatly, but both brothers were equally excited to have the little one back soon. And, if he was honest, Sam was too. He had never seen Lucifer like this before, he could only imagine how it would be having both of his brothers with them. Of course things wouldn't be easy, but they would manage somehow.

After Raphael's bath, Lucifer went upstairs to put his brother to bed and Sam decided to go sit on the terrace for a bit to enjoy the cool night air. He had to admit that he really liked this place. It was much bigger and more comfortable than his dorm room and Lucifer turned out to be quite a pleasant housemate. Even with Raphael around it was all very peaceful. Things would be more lively with Gabriel, of course, but Sam was sure he'd like the house too, especially the playground. The most important thing, however, was that the brothers were far, far away from their father and Lucifer was already taking the necessary steps to become his brothers legal guardian in a few months, when he’d turn twenty-one. Once this was done their old man wouldn't have any rights over them anymore, which Sam was very glad about.

The door behind Sam opened and a moment later Lucifer joined him on the terrace by plopping into a chair next to him.

“Already asleep?” Sam asked curious and handed Lucifer a Coke from the table.

“He was out before I even tucked him in fully,” Lucifer chuckled and leaned back into his chair. “No wonder, he ran around like a headless chicken today.”

“He has to catch up on a lot,” Sam sighed quietly. “But he can do that now. He can be a kid again.”

“All thanks to you.”

“Bullshit,” Sam huffed and waved his hand. “I'm not his brother who did so much for him, that's your accomplishment.”

“But you saved his life and gave him.a new home…” Lucifer cleared his throat and looked up at Sam. “You gave  _ us _ a new home.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Sam smiled warmly. “You kinda grew on me, I can't help it, and so did Raphael. I'm glad you're away from this tyran now at least.”

“I like it here,” Lucifer smiled and looked around into the night. “I know this isn't really what you wanted, or what I wanted for that matter, but it's not as bad as I thought.”

“It’s not what I wanted, no, but it's not the worst thing either.”

“What do you mean?” Lucifer gave Sam a confused look that made the brunet smile.

“You know I hate this soulmate crap, I don't think that will ever change. But now that I know you as a person and not just my soulmate it's different, you know?”

“Yeah, I feel the same way,” Lucifer nodded. “I like you, but for you and not because I have to. Of course I'm thankful for all you did for me and my brothers, but that's not why I like you either. It's kinda nice being your friend, I can't always show that, but it's true.”

“Lucifer, you've got your head full, you can't always show things like that, I get it. And you're not a bad friend either, I enjoy being around you. Even if it's not the way it was for my parents, I like this. And, well, maybe it's better the way it is.”

“You mean without the love and devotion and relationship hassle?” Lucifer smirked and Sam chuckled.

“Yeah, without all that stuff,” he agreed. “I mean, if it would happen I wouldn't say 'hell no’ anymore, but for now it's good the way it is, don't you think?”

“I wouldn't say that either, but you're right.” Lucifer emptied his Coke and stood up. “It's good like this now, if anything else happens or things change we’ll find a way to deal with it. But it’s getting late. What do you think, time for bed?”

“Yeah, it's a big day tomorrow, we need sleep.” Sam followed Lucifer inside, smiling slightly. The blond was right. If things changed between them they'd find a way to deal with it. By now he had accepted that they were soulmates, maybe this was the first step, he didn't know. What he did know was that he had found a great friend and that was enough for the time being.

\----------

Lucifer was even more nervous the next morning than the day before. He had changed his usual bad boy attire to something more casual and friendly and, like every time he dressed like that, it made him look like a completely different person. While they waited for the doorbell to ring, Lucifer kept fiddling with his hands to the point where Sam longed for them across the table so he'd hold still for a moment. He gave the other a knowing smile when he looked up.

“Relax, it's gonna be okay,” Sam assured Lucifer again, brushing a thumb over the back if his hand. “You'll see, there's no need to be worried.”

“Do you think he'll like it here?” Lucifer asked nervously. “What if he wants to stay with this other family because he likes it better there?”

“Lucifer, you're his brother! He won't pick strangers over you, don't think that.”

“I hope so,” Lucifer sighed and weakly returned Sam's hand squeeze. “And I hope he can forgive me for putting him through this in the first place…”

“You didn't put him through anything, that was your so called dad, okay? You fought for your brothers and to get him back, I'm sure he knows that.”

“As long as he's not scared of me or wants to leave again…” Lucifer grabbed Sam's hand tighter. “I don't think I could handle that.”

“He won't, I don’t think so. Now cheer up a bit, they're coming any minute now and you don't wanna greet your little brother with a frowny face, right?”

“Of course not,” Lucifer said and smiled weakly at Sam.

A few minutes later the doorbell finally rang and Lucifer jumped off his chair, nearly knocking it over in the process. Sam followed him to the door quickly and laid a hand on his shoulder as Lucifer opened it.

“Luci!” A high pitched voice echoed through the air as soon as the door was opened and not even a moment later the little boy Sam had seen sleeping in the hospital before jumped into Lucifer's arms with the biggest smile on his face. Sam glanced over at the woman still standing in the door and noticed the smile on her face. A good sign, he hoped.

“Miss Barker?” Sam asked politely and held out a hand for her to take, which she did and nodded.

“You must be Mister Winchester, I suppose?”

“Sam is fine,” Sam smiled. “Please, come inside.”

Miss Barker followed the invitation while Lucifer stood up, still hugging his little brother. Sam closed the door behind them and they all walked into the living room, where Sam had prepared coffee already.

“Please, have a seat,” Sam gestured miss Barker to sit, then turned to the blond. “Lucifer? Are you coming?”

Lucifer gave Sam a nod and looked back at his brother. 

“Hey Gabe, how about you go upstairs and look for Raphie? He told me he had a surprise waiting for you.”

“Raphie is here? Yippie!” Gabriel threw his arms up and squealed in excitement.

“You just go up the stairs, slowly, and knock on the first door you see, can you do that? But be careful, Raphie just came home from the hospital, so no fighting, okay?”

“Okay, Luci!” Gabriel laughed and off he went to find his brother. Lucifer smiled after him for a moment before joining Sam and the CPS woman in the living room.

“Gabriel was very excited to see you again,” Miss Barker said with a warm smile into Lucifer's direction. “He missed you a lot.”

“I missed him too,” Lucifer replied quietly, listening to the voices coming from upstairs.

“As you can see,” Sam continued to speak as no one else seemed to do it. “The house is rather big and Raphael is already living here with us. We also prepared a room for Gabriel upstairs and the garden has a playground that I'm sure he'll like.”

“You have put a lot of effort into this house, but I'm sure you know it will take some time before Gabriel can live here permanently.”

“How much time?” Lucifer asked and turned towards her. “We did everything we could, I even began going through the process to become their legal guardian once I turn twenty-one. What else do I have to do to get my brother back?”

“Lucifer, I never said you wouldn't get him back,” Miss Barker said and gave the boy a stern look. “Your living situation is more than suitable, Gabriel wants to come back and from my point of view there is nothing speaking against it. But this is a legal process that takes time, I can't change that.”

“How long will it take approximately?” Sam asked again, taking the words from Lucifer, who was visibly upset and on edge already.

“Since everything speaks for Gabriel living here, it's going to take around five weeks until everything is settled.”

“Five weeks?” Lucifer was shocked.

“Don't worry, during those weeks Gabriel will visit you regularly to see how things go when you live together. The first two weeks he may stay for a few hours, under my supervision, the following two weeks it will be during the weekend without me and the last week he may stay here completely. If everything goes well he won't have to leave anymore after that.”

Sam grabbed Lucifer's hand, who looked like he wanted to argue, and held him back this way. Much to his surprise, the blond stayed silent.

“Thank you,” Sam said as calm as possible. “I'm very glad you're giving Lucifer this chance. After Raphael's health has improved and he worked so hard to make a new home for them, away from their father, we just hope that Gabriel can settle down here with his brothers and have his family back.”

“Yeah…” Lucifer mumbled and looked at Sam for a long moment. “I really want nothing more than to have both of my brothers back and see them grow up happy.”

“I don't think there's anything standing in the way of that,” Miss Barker smiled and Sam noticed the shimmer in her eyes. She was emotional, a big plus for Lucifer. “I'm sure your brothers will be very happy here, it's a wonderful home.”

“Yes, yes it is,” Sam nodded and smiled back at her.

\---------

In the evening, after Gabriel and Miss Barker were long gone and Raphael went to bed - not without a heartfelt goodbye that actually made the CPS woman tear up - Sam and Lucifer sat in the living room to let the day run out. They had talked for a long time before and Lucifer had come to terms with having to wait a few more weeks until everything would be over, something Sam was very glad about.

Now that tiredness began creeping in and he yawned behind his hand, Sam asked himself if this feeling of comfort he suddenly felt around Lucifer was due to the stressful day or just something he hadn't noticed before. It wasn't unpleasant at all, quite the opposite in fact. He actually liked it.

“Thank you for your help today, Sam,” Lucifer suddenly said, ripping the other out of his thoughts. “I'm sure I would've screwed things up without you.”

“I’m glad I could help, you know that,” Sam smiled. “Everything went well and I'm sure it'll stay this way. He'll be back with you soon, I know that.”

“I hope so too,” Lucifer sighed. “I guess it's time to call it a day, I can barely keep my eyes open anymore.”

“Me neither,” Sam agreed and suppressed another yawn as he got up. “It's late and it was a stressful day. Let's catch some sleep.”

The two walked upstairs after turning off the lights. Lucifer checked on Raphael quickly, finding his brother asleep as he had expected, and closed the door with a smile. Sam watched him quietly, not even noticing the warm feeling in his chest.

“Hey, Lucifer?”

“Hm?”

“You were great today,” Sam said. “I've never seen you so happy before. It was really nice.”

“It's silly, but my brothers just make me happy.”

“It's not silly,” Sam smiled and shook his head. “It's really cute actually.”

Despite the dim light in the upstairs corridor, Sam saw the slight hint of red on Lucifer's face. It made the warmth spread to his stomach.

“Thank you, Sam,” Lucifer eventually smiled back and, much to Sam's surprise, closed the distance between them instead of going into his own room.

“Is something wrong?” Sam asked, slightly confused, and looked at the blond.

“I don't think so,” Lucifer frowned, meeting Sam's gaze. “I just… would you mind if I… you know... ”

“Not at all,” Sam smiled, using too now that he realized what the other was trying to ask for.

When Lucifer leaned down and brushed his lips against Sam's, the warmth in the brunet’s stomach flared up immensely, as if a million flaming butterflies were flapping their wings. Sam closed his eyes slowly, just focusing on this new and utterly overwhelming sensation that seemed to spread into every cell of his body. He barely noticed that Lucifer laid a hand on his hip, all he could feel right now was this kiss and how dizzy and weak it made him feel.

Despite all of Sam’s efforts to fight against being Lucifer’s soulmate from the moment they met, he had felt his walls crumble more and more with each passing day. He would have never expected things to take such a turn so soon, not even in his wildest dreams. When Lucifer pulled back after a very long and very nice minute, Sam couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Changed your mind on not letting it get to you?” Sam asked sheepishly, to which Lucifer grinned.

“Maybe a little,” he said. “If you don’t mind of course. I mean, we live together already, we’re friends… maybe it won’t be that bad.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Sam sighed contently. “I think I can take a risk for once.”

“I promise I won’t make you regret it,” Lucifer assured Sam and kissed him again - this one much deeper and not less thrilling as the first time.

For the first time, Sam actually believed that being Lucifer’s soulmate might turn out to be a good thing. He was happy now, even if things were difficult sometimes, and he didn’t want to miss the other in his life anymore. And who knew, maybe they’d be able to make it work. Sam really hoped so at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand that's it. I hope you enjoyed this fic, I know it was rather unusual for me, but I loved writing it ^^


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